Heart of Glass: Avoiding reality has consequences
by lelalemon
Summary: Shuichi is an abused child who is taken in by his teacher. Rated M. This contains yaoi, mild pedo., noncon., and emotional situations. This is a Yuki/Hiroshi - Shuichi/Suguru fanfiction.
1. Chapter 1

This is a story that involved scenes that loosely describe the act of pedophilia/ vividly describe the emotions of a victim. Yuki and Shuichi will not be getting together, they are just the stars. I'm not sure how to classify this as terms of characters, but I think this is the right way. Please enjoy and review. There will be no more author notes and the story will just continue from one chapter to the next. I do not own gravitation, the plot or any of the characters. This is a fanfiction. -Lelalemon

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><p>Shuichi, an eight year old little boy with thick pink hair, sparkling violet eyes, and the intelligence of someone five years older than him, but with the attention span of a goldfish, runs quietly through the house and up to his bedroom. He locks the door and dives into his closet without as much as the squeak of a floor board. He positions himself inside so that he can use the light coming in through the slants to read with.<p>

His mother isn't home right now. He knew as soon as he saw that her car was missing but _his_ car was there; she had left her boyfriend to babysit him. Just the thought of that makes Shuichi tremble. The man his mother was dating was a bad man. Shuichi could tell, even if his mother couldn't.

The man's eyes were dull and cold. They lingered on him longer than Shuichi thought they should. He had explained this to his mother once, but she laughed it off and told him not to be so _sensitive_.

It was true enough; the man had never laid his hands on Shuichi. He had greeted Shuichi but they had never held a conversation. It was his eyes that betrayed him.

"Shuichi, are you home?" He asks as he knocks on the door. Shuichi opens the closet door. "Yes, sir." Shuichi answers quietly. Hiding was okay. He could say, with honesty, that he had been home, but was just sitting somewhere quietly and reading. But lying was wrong, and he knew that.

"There is some food on the table for you. Can you come out here?" Shuichi sighs and hugs his book to his chest before opening the door. The man looks him up and down and smiles softly. "I made you a sandwich." Shuichi looks back down on the floor. "Thank you, sir."

The man doesn't move so Shuichi begins and heads toward the kitchen. After going down stairs, hearing the man's steps behind his, he walks to the table. He sees a sandwich and milk on the table. He sits down and the man sits across from him. "What are you holding?" The man asks. Shuichi sets his book on his lap.

"It's a book, sir." Shuichi answers. The man begins eating his own sandwich. "Is that what you were doing up there with your door locked?" Shuichi nods and takes a bite from his sandwich. The man puts his sandwich down and holds a hand out. Shuichi looks at him questioningly.

"May I see your book, Shuichi?" He asks. Shuichi hands him the book with care. The man looks at the cover and runs his hand along it. "Alice in Wonderland… I remember this book. Are you old enough to be reading it?" Shuichi swallows another bite of his sandwich. "I think so, sir." He answers.

The man puts the book down. "Normal kids don't lock their doors to read, Shuichi." He gets up and walks around the table and stands behind Shuichi's chair. "Normal kids only lock their doors when they're doing something… naughty." He puts his hand on Shuichi's trembling shoulder.

"I… I like to read in peace, sir." Shuichi answers. He knew what the man was referring to. He felt the man's hand on his shoulder and felt immediately uncomfortable. The man sits in the chair next to him; Shuichi has lost his appetite.

"Why do you read so much, kid?" The man's hand lowers to Shuichi's thigh. Shuichi sits straight up. "I just love reading, sir. " The man's hand travels up and Shuichi feels his stomach plummet. The man's fingers move to undo Shuichi's pants. He tries not to whimper and instead bites his lip. The man rubs Shuichi and moves his hand into Shuichi's underwear. Shuichi gasps and closes his eyes tight. The man moves his hand away to unzip is own pants and Shuichi takes the chance to run up the stairs to his bedroom. He hears the man following him, but he is faster. He locks the door and hides in the closet.

"Shuichi! Open this door!" The man yells. Shuichi doesn't make a sound. "If you tell your mom about this, I will kill you. She won't believe you, you know. You're just a kid. I'm an adult. Just keep your mouth shut." Shuichi wraps his arms around himself and sits in the closet until he hears his mother come home.

* * *

><p>His mother smoothes his hair down while he lies in bed. He says nothing to her about what had happened earlier. "Honey, sir says you just stayed in your room all day. Is something wrong?" His mother asks softly. Shuichi shakes his head. "Shuichi, I really like sir, and he likes me. I don't know where you got your crazy ideas that he is a bad guy, but you need to behave around him! He likes you too, Shuichi. We could be a family. Wouldn't you like that?" She asks him. He doesn't want to cry, but it's hard not to. "Please Shuichi, just do this for mommy." She said. She had no idea how much she was truly asking for. She kisses his forehead and then leaves his room for the night.<p>

The next morning he sees his mother's car, as well as sirs. He walks in carefully. "Shuichi, can you come in here?" He hears his mother call out from the living room. He walks into the living room and sees his mother sitting with sir on the couch. "Shuichi, I think we all need to have a talk." Shuichi sits on the chair opposite of them.

"Shuichi, sir asked me to marry him today." Shuichi closes his eyes. He knows this is a time for panic, but he can't show it. He can't upset his mother. "I said yes, Shuichi. I want you to be involved in the plans." Shuichi hangs his head. "Sir is going to be moving onto our house. He's going to be your papa. Isn't that wonderful?"

His mother asks, his voice sounding excited. Shuichi looks up at her, tears in his eyes, but says nothing.

Slowly sir begins to infiltrate. His things begin to enter the home. He begins to join them in meals and family time. One night Sir spends the night.

Shuichi gets out of bed late to use the bathroom. When he reaches the door Sir opens it and is a little surprised to see Shuichi standing there. "Hey kid." He says and walks away from Shuichi. He doesn't pay any more attention to Shuichi than he used to, and it has Shuichi confused. He notices that his eyes are still lingering, however.

One night eventually leads to every night. Shuichi tries to remain as distant and quiet as he can without causing his mother anguish. They exchange glances when his mother is away or is not looking. They sit across from each other at breakfast and at dinner and Sir always has his eyes on Shuichi. However, he doesn't communicate with him at all.

One night, as Shuichi lies in bed, he hears his mother's car leave. He gets up slowly and looks out his window to see that she is indeed gone. It wasn't very abnormal. His mother was a nurse and was sometimes called out at night to help if there was something amiss at the hospital.

He lies back down and yawns, only seven more hours until he had to be awake. He hears footsteps outside of his bedroom and stills his body. His door opens and he pretends to be asleep. Sir climbs into bed with him and wraps an arm around him. Shuichi tries to maintain normal breathing.

Sir leans up and whispers in his ear. "I know you're awake, Shuichi." Sir grabs him closer. "Your mom had to go to work." Shuichi nods, but tries not to move very much. He feels lips on his shoulder, as he is facing away from sir. Shuichi shivers and moves his shoulder away from the man. This causes him to move higher and begin kissing his neck.

Shuichi whimpers and the man grabs him to place him so that he is lying on his back. He holds the boy down and kisses him on the lips. Shuichi turns his head away and struggles against Sit's grip. "Please, Sir. Please stop doing this…" Shuichi cries. The man grabs his face and looks into his eyes. "Do you want to make your mom sad? She will think we don't get along and she will be upset with you." Shuichi is silent. He knows that the man is right. His mother had already asked him to just listen to Sir and do as he asked.

Sir kisses his neck again and pulls his nightshirt off. The man begins rocking against him, and he continues to whimper. The man grabs one of Shuichi's hands and uses it to finish himself. He releases Shuichi and lies flat on the bed. "Next time, you're going to use that mouth of yours."

Sir wipes his hands on his boxers and zips his pants back up. He pulls the blankets up and walks out of Shuichi's room, where he can still hear the boy sobbing.

Nothing happens for the next month. Shuichi's mother and Sir get married. Shuichi is the ring bearer, though he does not smile at all through the wedding. His mother doesn't notice.

He had already decided. He would give anything for his mother's happiness. If she wanted him to stop complaining about Sir, he would. If she wanted him to get along with Sir, he would. If she asked him to give his body… he did.

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><p>Sir seemed to ignore Shuichi after the wedding, much to Shuichi's relief. However, his mother does too. When he lies in bed at night, he can often hear them fighting. They yell and call each other names. Sir will storm out of the house and he will hear his mother crying until she falls asleep. Then, in the morning all is well. Shuichi thinks it's because Sir has become an alcoholic. He has heard his mother scream and cry about it.<p>

She would hold him, sometimes, and pet his hair. "Mommy and daddy are just fighting a little sweetheart. Everything is going to be alright. Daddy loves us; we just have to try to be better, okay?" He would agree and would hold on to his mother until she fell asleep. "I'll try mommy."

And he did try. He didn't complain when his mother made meatloaf. He knew that was sir's favorite, even if it was his least. He would put himself to bed so that he wouldn't disturb them. And late at night if Sir snuck into his room, he would stop fighting.

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><p>Sir seems to leave him alone for a long time. Things start to be somewhat normal. His mother works while he's at school and Sir stays home. They eat dinner together, go shopping together and spend time as a family. Shuichi still tries to avoid Sir as much as possible, but he would rather suffer than cause his mother pain.<p>

It's not until a few years later when something else happens. Shuichi is now eleven years old. His mother has been working nights more often than usual because she's sick of the fighting that goes on between her and Sir. This leaves a lot of alone time for Shuichi and Sir.

It's one of the nights that they're fighting. His mother is the one that storms out. She's going to go to work and get overtime. She screams at him, at least she's working. Shuichi hears the door slam. It's another hour into the night; he's been up reading. He hears Sir call out his name. He walks down the stairs slowly, without making any sound. He sees Sir sitting on the couch, TV on, facing away from his direction and drinking.

"You know, Shuichi. When I first met you, I couldn't tell when you were walking around because you're so quiet. I had no idea how your mother could do it. Now, after having been here with you so long, I'm starting to be able to hear it as well." Shuichi stands by the stairs without moving or saying anything.

Sir pats his lap and waits silently. Shuichi steps into his line of sight, but stays away from him still. Sir looks at him and Shuichi looks down. "Come here, Shuichi." Sir says. Shuichi steps closer until sir pulls him onto his lap. "Your mother doesn't understand me, Shuichi." He says. Shuichi can smell the alcohol on his breath and feel his hands roaming his body.

Sir pushes Shuichi to the floor. Shuichi is stunned for a moment and quickly sits up. Sir has unbuttoned his pants and has released himself. Shuichi looks away but his arm is grabbed by Sir. Sir pulls Shuichi to his knees and grabs his hair. "Do it Shuichi. You don't want your mom to think that this is entirely your fault, do you?" Shuichi puts Sir in his mouth, but quickly moves away. Sir grabs him more tightly and pushes back inside of his mouth. "If it wasn't for you, I would leave your mother." Shuichi gags, but Sir doesn't ease up. "If I couldn't have you, I would leave her, Shuichi. It would break her heart." Shuichi begins to cry. He promised his mother he would do better, for her happiness. Sir pulls him close and doesn't let him move. His mouth is filled with bitter liquid that he can't swallow. He moves back suddenly and spits it all out.

Sir sends him to bed while he cleans the floor. "You did great, Shuichi. You know I love you." Shuichi gets into bed and cries himself to sleep.

He's fine when his mother is home for the night. When she is gone; when she works, when they fight and she walks out, that is when Sir gets him. It hadn't gone any further than what he would be forced to do with his mouth, and Shuichi told himself that it could be worse, and that he should consider himself to be lucky. He would tell his mother he didn't sleep well when she was gone at night. She promised to try and take more nights off, but there was very little change. He noticed, however, that the more time Sir had with Shuichi, the nicer he was to his mother. They wouldn't fight for at least a week after he had alone time with Shuichi.

Shuichi remained distant and quiet at school, but none of the teachers noticed. He was amazing at hiding bruises. The teachers just assumed it was his way of hiding himself from the population of his peers; his way of having a low self-esteem.

His mother doesn't notice any difference either. He was always a quiet kid. She just assumes it's his awkward age and that it's normal. Someone Shuichi wonders why no one asks him why the corners of his mouth are so red; why he's lost so much weight; why he doesn't have any friends- but they don't.

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><p>The biggest change comes the summer before he begins high school. He's fourteen years old and home during the summer. He spends most of his time reading. Sir doesn't even wake up until after noon, and by then his mother is usually home.<p>

One day, his mother doesn't come back. It's almost seven at night and neither has heard from her. No one from work has even seen her that day. Sir holds onto Shuichi, for once doing something a father should do, and reassures him. "She will be back, Shuichi. She's alright. She wouldn't just leave us." Shuichi stays silent and bites his nails. It isn't until midnight that they hear anything. There is a knock at the door, so sir answers. It's a police officer.

"Sir, I regret having to inform you… Your wife was pronounced dead earlier at the hospital in which she worked. She was in a terrible accident. We couldn't identify her by any of her features and we have not located any of her personal belongings yet. One of the nurses found her badge in her pocket, however. I am very sorry." Sir begins to cry. Shuichi goes up to his room and rocks back and forth all night.

It is only a month after this that sir comes into his room late one night. He had been instructed since he was young not to lock his doors. Sir had said that it was in case there was a fire or some other emergency. Shuichi knew otherwise. Sir gets into bed with him. "I miss your mom, Shuichi." He wraps his arms around him. Shuichi nods. He is stricken with a sudden sense of déjà vu.

Sir begins to kiss him. "They're going to let you stay with me, Shuichi. I legally adopted you when your mother and I got married. Isn't that great news?" He pulls Shuichi's shirt off. "So from now on, you're going to be the mommy and I'm going to be the daddy. I found a job, so I'll be gone during the day. I expect you to have dinner waiting for me when I return." Shuichi doesn't say anything. Sir pulls his pants down. "There are other things I need you to do, Shuichi; mommy things." He pulls Shuichi's pants down and tells him to get on his hands and knees. Shuichi trembles. He knows what this is.

He does what sir tells him to do and bites his lip. "Don't you want to be mommy now, Shuichi?" Sir asks. Shuichi begins to cry and shakes his head. There is nothing he wants less than this. Sir lines himself up with Shuichi's opening without any preparation. "Tell me you want to be mommy and I'll make it hurt less, Shuichi." Shuichi's arms feel weak. He doesn't want to say it, but he doesn't want it to hurt even more. He says nothing and Sir begins to push into him. Shuichi screams and his arms give out. He is face-down on the mattress and crying harder than he did when his mother passed.

"Call me daddy, Shuichi. It doesn't have to be this bad." He pushes a little more and Shuichi screams again. "D…daddy! You're my d…daddy! Please stop." Sir kisses Shuichi's back and pulls away from his entrance. "I'm not going to stop, Shuichi. This is part of your mommy job from now on, but I will make it easier on you. Don't move." Sir gets off the bed and leaves the room. Shuichi digs his nails into the sheets of his bed and cries.

He loses his virginity that night to the only family he has left. Sir promises it will happen more often. He ends by telling Shuichi that he loves him. "You were always my favorite, Shuichi. I loved your mother, but you were always my favorite."

Shuichi does as he was asked. He makes dinner every night before Sir gets home. He was not late, because he knew that it would be bad for him. Sir had slapped him one night because he hadn't set the table in time. Shuichi did not want to make things worse.

And it was nearly every night. Sir would call to him to fulfill his "mommy" duty. Shuichi would cry himself to sleep after. He thought often about ending it. He did not have to appease his mother anymore. She would not know any different if he killed himself. She had already left him. She had never been there for him when she was alive. She had left him in the hands of the monster that had ruined his life.

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><p>Being in high school was different for Shuichi. He could be lazy and not hide the love bites or bruises. The teachers would just assume that he was a teen age boy who did what boys did. He, however, never let anyone see those marks. They were his shame. It was the same for almost everything else, though. When he wore long sleeves in the warm weather, people thought he was just rebelling. He didn't have any friends so they just considered him a loner. He wasn't violent, so they ignored him for the most part.<p>

Sir continued with him. Shuichi had hoped he would find another woman to woo and would leave him alone, but it seemed that would never happen. Shuichi would get home from school and do homework while he cooked Sir's meal. Once dinner was finished he would clean the house and serve the food. He would then wash the dishes and go to his room to do homework for the rest of the day. By the time he began to become sleepy Sir would call for him.

He would go to Sir's room and get into the bed his mother used to share with this man. He would use Shuichi, sometimes all night. Shuichi hated the most to be on top of Sir while Sir fucked him. Sir would make him do the work; would be able to look into his face. Sir didn't even seem concerned that Shuichi had never become aroused during these episodes.

Sometimes things would get violent. If Sir was drunk Shuichi could expect him to hit and bite and rip and tear. Sir often dabbled in things kinkier than just sex. Shuichi would be left with welts and burns; bruises and scars. It wasn't until he was sixteen that anyone noticed.

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><p>He was taking an advanced literature class. His teacher is the famous novelist Eiri Yuki.<p>

Yuki-sensei notices something amiss when he hands back the first test of the class. The average grade was a C. Shuichi had the highest grade. Normally, that would be fine. This test, however, was simply to mark the students at the levels they should be taught. C was the average; the normal grade for advanced students. He did not expect any of them to do better. Getting an A, as Shuichi had done, meant he was more advanced than the advanced class was.

He kept an eye on the kid after that. He noticed that he did not talk to any of the other students. They didn't cast him aside, so he was not just uncool. It was as if he didn't exist to any of them, and they were not real to him. He also noticed the odd clothing choices. The kid often wore scarves, though he did not seem to either enjoy them or try for the anarchy. Yuki-sensei wondered if this was more than a simple case of rebellion.

He decided to speak with Shuichi after class one day. "Shuichi, you are very smart." He said simply. Shuichi bowed and thanked him for the compliment, but said nothing further. "Why don't you have any friends, Shuichi?" He asks calmly, as if he is simply curious and not a little worried for the kid. Shuichi doesn't look him in the eye the whole time they converse. "I don't know, sir. I spend my time reading, I guess." Yuki-sensei 'hmm's' at this. Could it be as simple as Shuichi being a hermit and not acknowledging the world around him?

He dismisses Shuichi and goes back to grading papers. Shuichi always does great. This means nothing to Yuki, however. He knows from experience that students going through hell can still make perfect grades. Anything to escape from reality. That was why he hadn't had any friends at Shuichi's age. He spent all of his time reading. That sounded like an oddly familiar story. He just hoped that whatever Shuichi was going through wasn't as bad as that.

What Yuki didn't know was that it was worse. Shuichi had stopped feeling the need to completely combust under the pressure he was under. He felt nothing anymore. He worked on autopilot. There were even times, during sex, that he could forget where he was, forget who he was with, and he wouldn't feel any pain. He would sometimes try to work on math problems or anagrams when he was with Sir. His teachers thought he was brilliant. They didn't know that without thinking, without the problem solving, he would have already killed himself by now.

Eventually, as autopilot continued, sir began to notice. He would beat Shuichi, hurt Shuichi, hold him and cry. He would do anything to get an emotional reaction. When Shuichi began to frequent black eyes Yuki stepped in again. Other teachers assumed he was being picked on and had gotten into some after-school fights. Something about boys will be boys. Yuki didn't think so.

Yuki waited after class one day and asked to talk with Shuichi. "I think we need to have a meeting. Are you busy?" Shuichi bites his lip worriedly. "I need to get home and make dinner." Yuki snorts. "This is more important." Shuichi sits down and Yuki looks him over.

"Is there something going on?" Yuki asks bluntly. Shuichi shakes his head. Yuki sits down next to him and holds his hand out. Shuichi simply stares at his hand. "Give me your hand, Shuichi." Yuki says, devoid of all emotion. Shuichi complies and Yuki pulls his sleeve up. He sees bruises and bite marks. Shuichi closes his eyes and tries to think of how many words he can make with 'guilty'.

"Shuichi, has someone been hurting you?" Yuki asks. Shuichi comes up with 'lug'.

"Shuichi! Tell me who is hurting you!" Yuki says, losing his cool. Shuichi comes up with 'tug'.

Yuki gets on his knees in front of Shuichi and notices his eyes are distant. Shuichi come up with 'ugly'.

"Shuichi, I can help you. Just talk to me." Shuichi comes up with 'guilt' and then looks Yuki in the eyes and says nothing.

* * *

><p>Yuki calls Shuichi's father to try to sort things out, but the man doesn't seem to know what he's talking about. He begins to wonder if Shuichi is dating someone that is abusing him. He doesn't allow Shuichi to leave.<p>

"If you just tell me, I can help you." He says to Shuichi. Shuichi just stares at the clock. Yuki sighs and tells Shuichi to go home.

As soon as Shuichi steps through the door his step-father takes him down. "What did you tell them?" He demands. Shuichi whimpers. His step-father drags him to the kitchen and uses the hose in the sink to spray Shuichi. "Why did you say?" He demands. Shuichi cries. "I didn't say anything." Sir slaps Shuichi in the face. "Then why did they call me?" Shuichi sniffles. "He saw some bruises and asked. I didn't say anything!" Shuichi asserts. Sir pushes him onto the table and undresses him violently. "I don't like it when you lie to me, Shuichi." He spreads Shuichi's legs and shoves himself inside. Shuichi screams and begs. "I didn't say anything. I didn't say anything!" Sir holds him down and rams inside him.

Shuichi sobs on the table top, waiting for it to end. Sir grabs him by the hair and rips at him. Shuichi is in complete pain. Suddenly he feels Sir rip himself out. He screams and falls to the ground. When he wakes up he's surrounded by whiteness.

He feels pain coursing through his whole body and he closes his eyes again. "Your father has been arrested." He hears a very familiar voice say to him. He looks over and see his sensei Yuki looking at him. "I came to talk to him and walked in on… what he was doing to you." Shuichi exhales. "My step-father." He corrects. Yuki sits down next to him. "Are you okay?" Yuki sensei asks. Shuichi doesn't say anything. "I told the doctors I would tell them when you woke up." Shuichi still says nothing. Yuki pets him softly and goes to find a nurse.

After checking Shuichi out thoroughly and finding him unwilling to speak, they release him to Yuki with the promise of coming back to speak with them.

Yuki walks a quiet Shuichi to the car and drives to his home. "I need you to go pack some stuff. You're coming to my house for a while." Shuichi unbuckles his seatbelt. They walk into his house; his father is sitting on the couch. Yuki pulls Shuichi behind him. "You're not supposed to be here until after he gets his stuff. " Sir smiles at them. "I just wanted to see my son." Shuichi does nothing. Yuki pulls his cell phone out. "If you don't leave I'm going to call the police." Sir gets up and walks up to Yuki. Shuichi flinches and inches back, but Yuki stands firm. "You should try him. That big mouth of his is good for other things too."

Yuki stares him down and he backs away. "See ya, Shu." He says as he walks out the door. Yuki turns and takes Shuichi in his arms. "He's gone. It's okay. Go pack your things and we can leave." Shuichi goes up to his room and Yuki follows. The kid doesn't have very much, Yuki notices sadly. He packs a few books, some journals, other things. He packs a few items of clothing and some bathroom items before looking at Yuki. "I'm ready, sensei. Are you sure this is alright?" Yuki nods and helps him carry his two bags out.

* * *

><p>When they get to Yuki's house Shuichi is led into a guest room. He notices a guitar sitting in the corner. He picks it up after dropping his things and strums it. "You play?" Shuichi asks. Yuki smiles and shakes his head. "My partner plays. He does it in here so that it doesn't disrupt me when I'm working."<p>

Shuichi stares at Yuki. "Your partner is a man?" Yuki bites his lip. He hadn't planned on telling Shuichi. He had even asked Hiro to stay with friends while Shuichi settles in. Yuki finally sighs and nods. "I hope that doesn't make you uncomfortable. There is a difference between homosexual and pedophile." Shuichi nods. "I just hadn't thought…" Yuki sits on the bed. "I guess, since you know, I should let him know that he can come back home." Shuichi looks up at him. "Only if you're comfortable with him being here… I know it must be… weird for you." Shuichi shakes his head. "I don't mind. There's a difference between you and… him."

Yuki gets up and wraps an arm around Shuichi. "If you're interested in learning guitar I bet he would teach you. He's really good." Shuichi Smiles a little. "If he's so good why won't you let him play in your room?" Yuki groans. "The same reason I've told him a million times. Just because he's good doesn't mean it's something I can concentrate around." Shuichi plucks at the strings again.

Yuki leaves the room to call his partner. Shuichi lies on the bed and sprawls out. He takes a deep breath and exhales. He wonders, for a moment, what it's going to be like to sleep at night without being afraid. What will it be like to take a shower without having to keep your eyes open? Shuichi is startled when someone makes the bed bounce. He gets off of the bed as fast as he can and gets far away from the bed. A red haired man who is smiling slowly loses his smile.

"Hiro! You scared him, you idiot! Get out!" Yuki yells. The redhead looks like he's about to cry and gets up. Shuichi steps forward and stops him "No, no. I was just surprised, I'm sorry." Hiro sits back down on the bed, sticking his tongue out at Yuki before turning to Shuichi.

"I'm sorry I scared you. Yuki let me back in the house and I was excited to meet you." Hiro says. Yuki scoffs. "He's just like a dog." Hiro gets up and licks Yuki's face. Yuki wipes it off, with a disgusted look on his face and pushes Hiro away from him. "Nice to meet you. I'm Shuichi Shindou." Hiro steps closer to him. "One of Eiri's students, right? He told me you were coming to stay here for a while. I'm Hiro Nakano." Shuichi bows and Yuki grabs Hiro to push him out the door. "You can get unpacked and settled in. Whenever you're ready you may come down. I'm going to go prepare dinner and Hiro can show you around, or you can watch TV or anything. The house is yours, so do as you please. We can talk about rules during dinner."

* * *

><p>Shuichi comes down about an hour later, having put his clothing and personal items away. Hiro is laying on the couch listening to music. Yuki is in the kitchen preparing food. "Damn brat. Must you listen to such annoying music so loudly?" He complains. Hiro only smiles. Shuichi walks up to him and gently touches his arm. Hiro jumps, having been caught off-guard. "Jesus kid, I didn't even hear you come down." He says. Yuki walks into the living room. "That's because you have your shitty music turned up far too loud." Hiro rolls his eyes. "It seems I've paid you back for earlier, Hiro." Shuichi says with a bit of a smile. This makes both Yuki and Hiro smile back at him. "So I guess you did. Let me show you around. "<p>

Hiro shows Shuichi through all of the rooms. Their bedroom is surprisingly clean. Shuichi guesses that this is due to Yuki's input. He shows Shuichi where the movies and books are. They even have a computer set up with an account for him to use.

Shuichi is overcome by how much effort they put into his being there. He knew he wouldn't be able to shake the feeling of intruding on their lives, but they had gone above and beyond for him. Yuki tells them dinner is ready, so they end the tour with the kitchen.

Shuichi is delighted with Yuki's food. He eats like a starved man; a growing boy that has never had enough. Yuki and Hiro give him some time to eat before they begin talking.

"Shuichi, I don't know about how it was for you in the past… but we have some rules here that we are expecting you to follow." Yuki starts. Hiro smiles at him. "Nothing psycho, don't worry." Shuichi nods.

"We would appreciate it if you would knock before entering the bedroom if the door is closed." Hiro begins; Shuichi blushes and nods. That was an obvious one. "No drinking and no drug use." Yuki says. "And if you smoke, don't take my lighters. I already have a hell of a time keeping up with them." Hiro adds. Shuichi blinks. "I don't smoke. I don't do any of that," Shuichi answers. Yuki smiles because he is happy to see a teen that doesn't already smoke. "If you go out, let someone know. Leave a note or send a text, or anything. And you need to be back by midnight." Hiro says. "I don't go out…" Shuichi answers. "Do not steal anything. You may eat whatever you would like whenever you would like. You may shower whenever you would like. You may drink anything, except for the alcohol. If you need money, ask." Shuichi nods. None of this sounds like a problem to him.

Yuki gets up and takes his plate to the sink. He comes back for Hiro's and Shuichi's. "My I lock my door?" Shuichi asks, somewhat quietly. Yuki and Hiro look at him; both a little sad. "Of course you can." Hiro answers. "Of course you may," Yuki corrects. "However, if you do not answer when we knock we will enter without your permission." Shuichi nods. That seems fair.


	2. Chapter 2

Shuichi lies in bed that night with the door and windows locked. He feel safe, somewhat. Yuki said if anyone entered the house he would shoot them, so that shouldn't be a problem. He didn't think Yuki was the kind to prey on unwilling children, and neither did Hiro. They actually seemed to be very in love with each other.

Yuki and Hiro were in their room in bed and speaking. "I think he likes it here." Yuki says. Hiro frowns. "He locked his door. That's not feeling safe." Yuki kisses him softly. "He's been through something traumatic. Of course he wants to be able to lock his door. Give him some time." Hiro kisses Yuki and sighs. "I guess you're right." Yuki keeps kissing him and slowly lifts his shirt away.

Hiro moans softly and pulls Yuki closer. They continue kissing and slipping their clothes off. Hiro gets on top and slowly inches Yuki inside of him. "Oh, Yuki, it's so… big… so much, Yuki." Yuki moans and grips Hiro's hips. "That's it Hiro, oh God, baby." Hiro leans forward and begins to rock back and forth, Yuki's manhood moving inside of him. "Oh Yuki, please, more!" Hiro cries out. Yuki begins to hammer his hips up to meet Hiro's movement. Hiro whimpers. "So much, Yuki... Ah, ah! Yuki, Yuki! I feel like I'm going to split apart!" Yuki smiles at his lover, whom is ever so poetic in the throes of passion. Yuki can hear Hiro's whining and knows he's close. He grips Hiro and pushes deep inside of him and flips them. He begins rocking into Hiro with deep, powerful plunges. He hears Hiro climax and feels the semen dripping down his hand. It's only another moment before he comes inside of Hiro, eliciting another moan from the man.

Yuki and Hiro lay back, both feeling blissful. They look up and notice, through their open bedroom door, that Shuichi is standing, wide-eyed with tears falling down his cheeks, and staring at them. "Fuck…" Hiro murmurs. Yuki begins to get up, wrapping in a sheet and Shuichi runs to his room. They hear the door slam shut and lock.

They get dressed quickly and go to Shuichi's room. They knock on the door and try to get Shuichi to open it. "We're so sorry Shuichi. We should have shut it and locked it. We didn't mean for that to happen, and even more for you to see it. We're sorry." Yuki says through the door. Hiro and Yuki are sitting outside of the door after only getting simple answers from Shuichi. Shuichi appears to be sitting on the other side of the door. They can tell that he's crying.

"Shuichi, please? We are so sorry." Hiro says. Shuichi sniffles. "That was my least favorite position. I hated having to do the work to please him, and I hated seeing his face." Hiro begins crying as well. Yuki wipes his tears and send him to bed. After he's gone he listens to Shuichi cry. "I'm sorry, Shuichi. If you want, I can drive you somewhere else. I can get you a hotel room until you go wherever you want to go." Shuichi opens the door and looks door at Yuki's feet. "I don't want to go. It's not a bad thing. Sex between consenting people is a beautiful thing. It just… brought memories back."

Yuki puts his hand on Shuichi's arm. When he isn't pushed away he hugs him. "I'm sorry Shuichi." Shuichi looks at Yuki. "May I see Hiro?" Yuki nods and they walk down the hallway. Hiro is on his side crying into a pillow. Shuichi crawls on the bed and wraps his arms around Hiro. Hiro hugs him back and they both cry. Yuki crawls on the bed and takes them both in his arms. They cry themselves to sleep and Yuki covers them all up and closes his eyes.

* * *

><p>When Yuki wakes in the morning he shakes Hiro. "Come shower with me." Hiro groans and looks at the clock. "It's early, Yuki." Yuki smoothes Hiro's hair back. "I know, but I want there to be enough hot water left for the kitten when he wakes. I'd also like to make breakfast on time so that nobody is late."<p>

Hiro gets out of bed and half hangs on Yuki on the way to the bathroom. They shower and wash each other's hair, but both are too upset by last night's happening to do anything more. They come out of the bathroom dressed. Hiro goes to wake Shuichi and show him to the shower and Yuki begins breakfast. He is finished by the time Shuichi and Hiro are dressed and ready.

* * *

><p>The next night is not as busy. Shuichi spends his time in his room, with the door cracked open. He hears someone playing guitar and tip-toes out to see whom. He watches Hiro, who is alone in the bedroom he shares with Yuki, playing his guitar. It's beautiful. Hiro ends the song and looks up to see Shuichi.<p>

"Do you play?" Hiro asks. Shuichi shakes his head. Hiro grins and pats the bed beside him. Shuichi sits next to him and is surprised when a guitar is thrust into his arms. "I'll teach you a little to help pass the time before grumpy get home." Shuichi smiles and watches Hiro play. They begin with one string and move on to two. They end there, as Yuki comes home.

He groans when he sees them holding their guitars. "Must you?" Yuki asks, sounding pained. Hiro hugs him from behind softly. "You fell in love with a musician. You only have yourself to blame." Yuki kisses him softly and looks at Shuichi. "Hello Shuichi. Are you feeling better today?" Shuichi smiles softly and nods.

They eat dinner. Yuki cooks again. Shuichi eats slowly tonight, savoring the flavor now that he knows he doesn't have to make the best of it and eat as fast as he can before something bad happens. "Hiro, what do you do?" Shuichi asks. Yuki's eyes narrow and Hiro pretends to ignore it. "I am an entertainer." Yuki snorts. "He's a whore." Hiro hits his arm. "I'm a stripper." Shuichi is very surprised. "Like I said, he's a whore." Hiro gets up from the table and walks away. Shuichi looks down at his food silently; he's lost his appetite. Yuki sighs and puts his fork down. "I'm sorry Yuki." Shuichi says. Yuki puts a hand on his back. "It's not your fault kiddo. Sometimes people who are in love fight. I'll go talk to him. Finish eating." Yuki leaves the table. As soon as Shuichi hears their bedroom door close he races to his room and locks the door. The three nearly untouched plates remain on the table for the night.

* * *

><p>Hiro sits on his bed, pulling slightly at his hair. He already knew that Yuki didn't support his working there; that he disapproved. He didn't know, however, that Yuki thought he was a whore. Yuki walks into the bedroom and Hiro lowers his arms. "Hiro…" Yuki begins, not sure what to say. "You should have told me what you thought about me." He says. Yuki frowns and sits next to him.<p>

"I'm sorry for calling you that, Hiro." Hiro shakes his head. "You're right. I undress for money. I'm no better than a whore." Yuki hugs him. "No, you're an entertainer. There's a difference." Hiro grabs his cigarettes and lights one after removing Yuki's arm. "I think you should sleep on the couch tonight." Yuki gets up and walks out of the room.

* * *

><p>Shuichi wakes in the middle of the night and sneaks downstairs. He gets a glass and fills it about halfway with some milk. He had always liked milk, but there was rarely any in the fridge when he lived back home.<p>

He walks around the kitchen, his bare feet pitter-patter on the laminate floor softly. He looks up and sees a figure rise from the couch. He screams and drops his glass, which shatters. Yuki growls and flips the light on. Shuichi apologizes fiercely and begins to pick up the glass. Yuki yells at Shuichi and tells him to drop the glass before he cuts himself. Shuichi is shocked and squeezes the glass involuntarily before dropping it. "You see? You cut yourself. Are you really that fucking stupid?" Yuki yells. Shuichi runs upstairs and locks his door so that he can cry.

Yuki sweeps the glass up and sighs. He shouldn't have done that to Shuichi. He knew he had just made it worse. He was already very fragile.

He walks up the stairs and knocks on Shuichi's door. He hears some soft crying inside of the room. After a moment Hiro answers the door. "I think you've done enough, Eiri." And he closes the door. Yuki makes his way to the couch and stares at the ceiling.

* * *

><p>Hiro sits on Shuichi's bed. He runs his hand through his hair. "Yuki didn't mean that, Shuichi. He's just a little upset right now." Shuichi nods. "We've been having a stressful time, you know?" Shuichi nods again. "I'm sorry, Hiro. It's my fault…" Hiro shakes his head and puts his arms around Shuichi. "It's normal. We're opposites. That's kind of what makes us work so well."<p>

Shuichi rests his head against Hiro's chest. "Do you love him?" Shuichi asks. Hiro smiles. "I love him a lot." Shuichi looks at his newly bandaged hand. "He loves you too. I think you should forgive him." Hiro yawns. "Maybe in the morning. Sometimes it's good to make them wait it out." Shuichi cuddles close to Hiro and falls asleep.

* * *

><p>Hiro wakes again when it is still dark outside. He gets up and makes sure Shuichi is covered up. He uses the restroom and walks quietly into the living room. Yuki is on the couch asleep. Hiro snuggles next to him and closes his eyes. He feels an arm wrap around him. "I'm sorry for last night." Hiro snuggles closer. "Me too Yuki." He kisses Hiro's head. "Where's the kitten?" Hiro yawns. "Still sleeping." Yuki closes his eyes and they fall asleep together.<p>

* * *

><p>They both wake to the smell of breakfast. They look into the kitchen and see Shuichi cooking. They both get up slowly and sit down at the table. Shuichi still has bed-head. He's in an apron and looks disheveled. "I made breakfast…" Hiro and Yuki both 'aww' at him. They get up and help make plates.<p>

* * *

><p>That night they decide to have a game night together. Yuki wins scrabble and Hiro wins at guitar hero. Shuichi wins at everything else. At the end of their sixth card game Hiro quits. "Good thing this wasn't for money or Shuichi would have to pay the bills." Shuichi smiles and Yuki sets his cards down. "Alright, what should we do next?" Shuichi and Hiro shrug. Both captivated by the honest smile on Yuki's face.<p>

They decide to sit together and watch TV. They talk a little. "How did you two meet?" Shuichi asks. Hiro grins and Yuki blushes. "I was working one night. I was on stage stripping and my music went off; the sound system was down. I had to finish my set without music, so I just went with it. One of the men in the audience said something to me. I don't even remember what it was now." Hiro laughs. Yuki is smiling too. "He said 'you is hot stuff, baby" Yuki says with a pitch lower than usual. Hiro claps. "That was it, and I stopped undressing and just looked at him and said 'sir, that is incorrect. You would have to say are instead of is.' And the guy is embarrassed. He tells me to shut up because I'm nothing but a stupid whore. Eiri grabs him and punches him in the face and explains why it was 'are' instead of 'is'."

Shuichi laughs. "That's amazing! How long have you worked there?" Hiro thinks. "I started at eighteen, and I'm twenty-five now, so seven years." Shuichi is astounded. "When did you two meet?"

"It was my second year there. We've been together for a long time." Yuki kisses Hiro softly. Shuichi looks away. "So what about you, Kitten? Are you interested in anyone?" Hiro asks. Shuichi looks down. "No. There's no one for me." Yuki frowns at Hiro and they both put an arm around him. "Shuichi, why do you think that?"

Shuichi shrugs. "Who would want to deal with what I've gone through? I don't even want to be alive, and I can't imagine someone willingly joining me in that." They don't know what to say to him. He gets off of the couch and mutters a goodnight before shutting and locking his door.

Yuki and Hiro aren't sure how to fix this. And Shuichi's confession of not wanting to live scared them both. Neither wanted him to go. They didn't want him to feel like that. The only thing they could do was continue to be there for him and make sure he was happy and getting better. The first thing they had to do was get him to talk about it. He needed to let the police know what happened to him, and maybe see someone about it. From what Yuki was told it had happened over a very long period of time.

* * *

><p>Shuichi doesn't come out of his room the next day. They're concerned, but also feel that it's important for him to have his alone time. Hiro is the first to break this. He knocks on Shuichi's door and says "honey, we're here if you want to talk, or anything else." And sits back down on the couch with Yuki. Shuichi doesn't say anything.<p>

That night when Shuichi hasn't come out to dinner Hiro knocks on his door again. "Honey, please come eat. You need to eat something. You haven't all day…" Shuichi doesn't respond. "Shuichi, can you please just say something so that I know you're okay?" No reply. Hiro starts freaking out.

"Yuki, he's not answering me at all and I can't get into his room." Hiro panics. "You have to get the door open!" Yuki goes upstairs and knocks on the door loudly. Shuichi doesn't answer. He fiddles with the doorknob and uses a bobby pin to get inside. They don't see Shuichi anywhere. Hiro looks under the bed and Yuki looks in the closet. They notice that the window is open. Yuki growls and Hiro sits on the bed sadly.

"I'm not going to accept this. I'm going to go find him." Yuki says. He and Hiro put their coats on and head outside. Their plan is for Yuki to take the car and drive through the neighborhoods around them while Hiro goes on foot. However, when they get outside they notice someone sitting on the roof. He is right outside of his window with headphones on looking at the stars.

Hiro and Yuki both sigh with relief. Shuichi looks down and notices them. He gives a little wave. They go back inside and join him on the roof. "You thought I left?" Shuichi asks. They both nod. "I don't have anywhere else to go." Hiro takes one hand and Yuki takes the other. "You are welcome here. Forever. We want you here, Shuichi, so you don't need to leave. We know what happened to you and we still want to be here with you. Your past is just a part of you, Shuichi." Yuki says to him. Shuichi hugs Yuki tightly and they all decide to go back into the house.

Yuki reheats dinner while Shuichi and Hiro sit at the table. Neither Hiro nor Yuki had eaten. They had been too concerned with Shuichi to do so. When they're about halfway through the meal Shuichi looks at Hiro. "There is someone I like, but I don't think they've ever noticed me." Yuki looks at him. "I'm sure they have. Do I know them?" Shuichi nods. Hiro smiles. "Have you tried talking to them?" Shuichi shakes his head. "I'm too scared." Yuki smiles at Hiro. These are normal problems. This is what he should be going through as a teenage boy.

"So who is it?" Yuki asks him. He blushes. "Suguru Fujisaki." He answers. Yuki is surprised. "Isn't that Principal Tohma's son?" Yuki nods. "Ohh, kitten, I like the way you think. High hopes, right?" Shuichi smiles. "He's never spoken to me, but I think he's really cute." Shuichi blushes. Yuki sighs and shakes his head. "I shouldn't encourage it, but normal kids are hormonal and rabid right about this time. I think you should talk to him, even if you just end up as friends. But take it slowly." Shuichi nods, happy to know he's part of the normal crowd for once.

* * *

><p>A few weeks later Shuichi comes home early. He had told them he would be doing his club activities, but the group had cancelled on him. It was required of the students to join at least one club. He had chosen music club. Some of the kids played instruments, some sang and some just wrote the songs. He was into the writing. He would like to sing, but he didn't think he could handle doing it in front of anyone. Their leader was home sick, however, so they were all sent home early. Suguru was in that club, too. He played keyboard and he was amazing.<p>

He had slowly been inching toward speaking to Suguru. They talked as club members and it was slowly becoming a friendship. Today, though, he had said the magic words. Suguru, as vice-president, had waited to let the students know that club was cancelled. When Shuichi walked into the building he smiled and walked over to him. He explained the situation and Shuichi turned to leave.

Right before he did he turned back around. Suguru was still staring at him. Shuichi forgot his lack of confidence. "Suguru, I really like you." He says, blunt and to the point. Suguru blushes. "I like you too, Shuichi." Shuichi smiles and blushes as well. Suguru steps closer to him and awkwardly kisses him on the lips, very softly. Shuichi looks down at his shoes. "Can… can we see each other? I mean, do you want to?" Suguru is just smiling so Shuichi rephrases. "Will you be my boyfriend, Suguru?" Suguru nods and puts his hand in Shuichi's. "Will you call me tonight?" Shuichi nods at him. He's never felt this happy before.

"I should be heading home now… You were the last person I needed to tell about the club." Suguru says. Shuichi nods, but neither move. "Can I walk you home?" He asks. Suguru nods excitedly and grabs his stuff. When they walk out the door Suguru takes his hand again and holds it the entire walk.

When they reach Suguru's house, which is only a few blocks from his own, they let go of each other. "I'll call you tonight." Suguru kisses him again, just as softly as the last. "Thank you. I'll see you later." He then walks inside. Shuichi's heart is going crazy and he runs home. He can't wait to tell Hiro!

He walks up the stairs and doesn't see anyone in the house. He notices that their door is open so he walks over and looks inside. He sees Hiro on the bed, being held down by two men while another paces back and forth.

"You should have just come with me! I told you I wanted you. I've never seen someone as beautiful as you are." He says to Hiro. Shuichi gasps. One of the men sees him and drops Hiro so that he can instead grab him. He runs as fast as he can but the man is faster.

He brings Shuichi into the bedroom and shoves him onto the bed beside Hiro. Hiro looks terrified. "Shuichi, are you okay? Don't touch him! He doesn't deserve this!"

They fondle Shuichi and Hiro fights against their grasps. "Don't touch him!" One of the men hits Hiro with his gun. The other tells Shuichi to open his mouth. "I'll do it, please just leave him alone! I can do it better, I have experience. Please, just don't touch him."

The man lets Shuichi go. "You would do that for someone who is only barely your son?" He asks. Hiro nods. "Anything." The man sits and looks down at his lap. They push Hiro to his knees and he crawls toward the man. He undoes his pants and begins to blow him. The man grips his hair and he wants nothing more than to puke. The man suddenly pushes him up. He pulls Hiro to now face Shuichi. He feels the man lining up with his opening. He looks into Shuichi's eyes. "Don't look." Shuichi closes his eyes and the man thrusts in. Hiro screams and begins to sob. It hurts so much!

* * *

><p>The man pushes him down and looks at the other men. "Let go of the boy. We're taking him with us, and he's right. The boy is innocent." One of the men snorts and gets on top of Shuichi. "He isn't innocent. He's a teenage boy." The man puts a hand into Shuichi's pants and Shuichi sobs. "Stop it! Don't touch him!" Hiro screams. He grabs the side table hits the man in the head with it.<p>

The man falls and another comes after Hiro. Hiro swings at them but the man is able to take him down, regardless. It is at this moment that Yuki walks in with a gun drawn. "Get off him." He commands simply. The man gets up and Hiro runs to Shuichi to hold him and shield his eyes. Yuki hits the man in the head as hard as he can and he falls. The only man left up now is the leader of their sick gang.

The man gets up and aims a punch at Yuki. Yuki raises the gun and the man take one out. "You wouldn't really shoot anyone with that. Put it down and get out of my way." Yuki wastes no time and shoots the man in the shoulder. He drops the gun and falls to the floor. Blood begins to flow on their carpet. Yuki kicks the gun as far away from the man as he can. "You goddamn prick!" The man attempts to get up, but police have arrived.

They take Hiro and Shuichi to the hospital. The police talk to them and both give statements, though Shuichi still refuses to say anything about his step-father. Yuki has said nothing to Hiro the whole time. He has been at Shuichi's bedside, instead. When Shuichi falls asleep he walks to Hiro's room.

"If you didn't whore yourself out they never would have came here looking for you! You put Shuichi in danger! You put all of us in danger! Maybe… Maybe you got what you deserved!" Yuki yells. Hiro curls tighter around himself. The blame he had been working on releasing was back full force and hurt even more. Yuki would never know what his words did to him. "I have never hated you more than I do now. You're not coming back into my house until you quit your disgusting job and ask for forgiveness. "Yuki says before walking away. Hiro is sobbing into his pillow.

Shuichi can hear the whole thing from his side of the room and feels terrible. "Hiro, I'm sorry." Hiro tries to stop crying. "It's my fault, Shuichi. I'm so sorry." Shuichi gets out of bed and into bed next to Hiro. He comforts him while he cries himself to sleep.

When Yuki comes in the next day he grimaces at Hiro's tear-stained face. He cards his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry, Hiro. I lost my temper last night, but I didn't mean it." Hiro doesn't say anything. He simply stares at the sheets. "It's time for you and Shuichi to come home. You need to get dressed." Yuki says. Shuichi gets up and Hiro follows. Yuki keeps his eyes on Hiro, who is being far too quiet.

When they get home Hiro goes up to their room. He stares into the bedroom from the hallway but doesn't step inside. Shuichi steps behind him. "You can sleep in my bed." He offers to Hiro. He understands. Hiro turns and hugs Shuichi tightly.

* * *

><p>Hiro sleeps in Shuichi's bed and Shuichi sleeps in their bed. Yuki has offered to take the couch. Hiro will not let Yuki touch him at all. Only Shuichi may, and only for quick hugs. Hiro has stopped speaking to both of them. He spends most of his time alone in Shuichi's room.<p>

Shuichi and Yuki try talking to him, but he blows them off and begins to read or write. He hasn't touched his guitar.

Shuichi has never felt more unwelcome. If he wasn't there Yuki would have never yelled at Hiro and made him so sad. This might not have even happened if he hadn't been there. Shuichi can't hold back the sob that comes out. His classmates look at him; the teacher stops lecturing to look at him.

"Shuichi, are you alright?" Shuichi shakes his head, grabs his stuff and leaves. He walks home, completely ignoring policy and rules. He goes straight to his room and stops at the door. Hiro is sitting on his window ceil and is looking outside. Shuichi can see the overflowing ash tray next to him and doesn't need to ask what Hiro has been up to.

He wraps his arms around him and leans his head on Hiro's shoulder. Hiro puts a hand on Shuichi's head. "So that's what you went through?" Shuichi nods, "kind of." Hiro lights another cigarette. "How long did you go through this?" Hiro asks. "It started at eight, and then every night after I was eleven." Hiro exhales. "That's a long time, Kitten. I don't know how you're still alive. And to have it be someone so close to you; someone who was supposed to care for you… That just makes it ten times worse." Shuichi nods. "But, I never had someone around that I could talk to. I never had anyone. My mother didn't know about what was going on. A lot of it started after she died, even. But it doesn't have to be like that. You have people you can go to. Yuki wants to be there for you." Hiro wipes a few silent tears away. "Yuki doesn't know what it's like." Shuichi hugs him. "I do. You can come to me when you need understanding, but if you just need someone to listen, Yuki is perfect. He doesn't know what it's like, so you can tell him what it's like. Tell him how hard it is to accept a hug from someone who could over-power you. He won't understand, but he can empathize." Hiro kisses Shuichi's forehead. "You make a good point, Kitten."

* * *

><p>After dinner that night Hiro asks Yuki to stay with him in their room. Yuki is very happy and accepts. Shuichi offers to clean the dishes and messes and put the food away. He knows that talking to someone about what happened would help. That's what everyone told him. It was just easier said than done. He didn't have anyone like Yuki. There was no one who loved him enough to do anything for him. He could talk to Yuki or Hiro, he knew, but it wasn't worth it for any of them. They want to help, but it would kill them to hear the stories Shuichi had, and he knew it.<p>

His eyes open wide. Suguru! He had promised to call him yesterday night and never did!

He rushes for the phone and dials the number he had already memorized. A deep voice that he recognized as being his principal's answers the phone. "Seguchi-Fujisaki residence." Shuichi clears his throat. "Is Suguru there?" He asks quietly. "May I ask who is calling for him?" Shuichi nods, though he knows that Mr. Seguchi wouldn't be able to see it. "This is Shuichi Shindou." He hears silence for a few moments before Suguru answers.

"Shuichi?" Suguru asks. "I'm sorry, Suguru. My… dad… was in the hospital last night." Suguru gasps. "Is he alright?" Shuichi knows better than to answer honestly. "He will be. I'm sorry." Suguru dismisses it. Shuichi lies on his bed and continues to talk to Suguru about whatever comes to mind for the next hour. It isn't until he hears Hiro call for him that he says goodbye to Suguru. "See you tomorrow. I, uh. I like you a lot." Shuichi says. Suguru laughs. "I think that means love, and I love you too." Shuichi hangs up and goes to Hiro and Yuki's bedroom. The door is closed. He knocks lightly and they ask him to come inside.

"Shuichi, do you want to sleep in here with us tonight?" Yuki asks. Shuichi is a little surprised. "Why?" He asks, sounding suspicious. "Hiro says it's easier to smile when he's around other people. You went through the same thing, so maybe it's true." Shuichi smiles a little. He had felt really safe both nights he slept with one or both of them. He nods his head and Yuki pats the bed. He gets into bed in between then and they go to sleep.

* * *

><p>The next morning a cop shows up to talk to Shuichi about his step-father. Shuichi bites his lip. If he doesn't talk about it… his step-father could go free. He could even get custody of him again. "I don't know how to tell you." Shuichi answers. The cop nods. "That's pretty common. I know that what you went through was hard. I will never be able to understand, but I've seen this before and I know that it hurts. I know that it's hard to talk about to anyone, especially some cop you don't even know. If you don't tell us, though, he could go free and do this to another kid." Shuichi pales at that thought.<p>

"I'll tell you. Where do I begin?" The cop smiles and asks Shuichi to start from the beginning. He has brought a tape recorder and pushes record. Shuichi begins with the first incident. He is quickly reduced to tears. By the time he gets to his mother's death he asks to stop. "I can't do anymore… Can we stop for now?" Shuichi begs. "Of course, Shuichi. Thank you, you're really brave." The cop stops recording and wipes at his eyes.

"Shuichi, may I come back and hear the rest? I can give you time. I can come back next week." Shuichi nods, trying to control his sobbing. The cop takes his hand and squeezes it. "Can I tell you something?" The cop asks. Shuichi nods again. "I am an old man, Shuichi. I have kids your age. I have a son that's twenty-five, a daughter that's eighteen, another that is sixteen and a son that is ten. When I hear about men who do things like this to kids, it sickens me. If anyone touches my kids, I would kill them. I wish you could have had someone like that in your life instead of someone as sick as he is. I will do everything that I can to lock him up for the rest of his life, Shuichi, so that you can begin yours." He pets Shuichi's head and leaves.

Hiro and Yuki, who had been sitting outside of the door and listening to the whole thing come in and hug Shuichi. "You did great kitten. You did great."

* * *

><p>The man comes back the next week and Shuichi is able to get through the rest of his story. He has everyone in tears. The cop thanks him and talks to Yuki about the court hearing. Hiro is hugging Shuichi and telling him that things will get better. Shuichi nods because he knows it can't get any worse.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

They sit together that night and watch a movie that none of them are very interested in. "How was school Shuichi?" Yuki asks. Shuichi blushes and tells them about Suguru. Hiro laughs excitedly and hugs him. "That's fantastic! I'm so happy for you!"

Yuki smiles and pets Shuichi. "Take it slow, Shuichi. Don't let him rush you." Shuichi nods. "I won't. I don't think I'm ready for anything like that anyway." Hiro pouts. "I am!" Yuki hits him on the arm. "Hiro, not in front of the kitten." Hiro kisses Yuki and licks his lips. Shuichi laughs and looks way. "I know I'm no virgin, but I'm not sure what it's like to be with someone of will." Shuichi says. Hiro and Yuki are both saddened. "Shuichi, you can still consider yourself to be a virgin. You never wanted it, so it shouldn't count."

"Can I come to you… if there's something I need to talk about?" Shuichi asks. "Of course. Anytime." They reply.

* * *

><p>It is a few nights after this. Shuichi wakes and doesn't hear anyone in the house. He checks their bedroom. The door is open but no one is in there.<p>

He heads downstairs and peaks into the kitchen. Hiro is covered in flour and throwing chocolate chips at Yuki very stealthily. Yuki is mixing something in a bowl and growing more and more agitated with Hiro. Hiro manages to hit Yuki right in the face. Yuki puts the bowl down and grabs Hiro. He holds Hiro down on the table and tells him to release the chocolate. Shuichi closes his eyes, completely sure that Yuki is about to hurt Hiro.

He opens them again, however, when he hears Hiro laugh. "You have a chocolate dot right on your forehead." Yuki growls and Hiro leans up and kisses him. Yuki kisses back, still holding him down. Hiro blushes and wraps his legs around Yuki's waist. "Eiri, I want you." Yuki looks around, Shuichi leans back away. "What if Shuichi wakes up?" Yuki asks; he can hear him kissing Hiro.

"We'll hear him and stop. Please? We haven't had sex in so long." Yuki snorts and pulls Hiro's pants off. "It's been a week." Hiro moans when Yuki pulls his own pants down and rocks against him.

"A week is a long time! Please, don't tease me." Shuichi is blushing. He looks back inside and watches as Yuki lifts Hiro's leg onto the table and slowly enters him. Hiro whimpers and wraps his legs back around Yuki. "I love you Hiro. Let me know when." Hiro is panting. "I love you so much Yuki." Shuichi slowly sneaks back into his room. He is embarrassed and feels guilty.

He notices that he's aroused. This had never happened before. He touches himself once and moans loudly. He lies on his bed and imagines it's him and Suguru on the table. He pumps his manhood and whimpers Suguru's name. It only takes a few minutes for him to come. He washes his hands in the sink and wipes his clothing off before undressing and redressing in something clean.

He goes back downstairs and peaks into the kitchen. Yuki is mixing in the bowl again and Hiro is now eating the chocolate chips. Shuichi walks into the kitchen. "Good morning." He says quietly, still a little embarrassed.

Hiro gets up and hugs him. "Good morning, birthday boy!" Shuichi blinks. Was it? He looks at Yuki for confirmation. Yuki seems to know exactly what he's thinking. He nods and Shuichi smiles. "Yuki is making a grand breakfast and then we're going to do fun stuff together!" Shuichi smiles excitedly. "It's been a long time since I celebrated my birthday." Shuichi says. Hiro hands him a handful of chocolate chips. "As long as you're around us, we're going to celebrate it. It's a birthday; a reason to party!" Yuki laughs at his over-excited lover. "Forgive Hiro, he didn't get a lot of sleep."

There is a knock at the door. Hiro jumps off of the table to answer it. Shuichi continues eating the chocolate chips while watching Yuki make muffins. "Hey Shuichi." Shuichi hears. He turns and sees Suguru standing with a grinning Hiro.

Shuichi blushes and waves at him. "The muffins are just going in, so why don't we all sit down?" They all sit around the table, Shuichi and Suguru are one one side while Yuki and Hiro are on the other. Suguru grabs his hand and they lace their fingers together. Hiro initiates the same thing with Yuki.

They eat chocolate chip muffins; something that Shuichi has never eaten. Then end breakfast and decide to give Shuichi his gifts. Yuki and Hiro have gotten him things to write music with. Hiro also presents him with a microphone. "I've heard you sing, Shuichi, and you're amazing." Shuichi blushes and refuses to comment about his singing, or to sing something for them. Yuki also hands him boxes of Pocky. He thanks them both, hugging them tightly.

Suguru hands Shuichi a small gift and Shuichi looks very surprised. He opens it slowly and smiles. It is a necklace with half a heart. Suguru shows Shuichi that he is wearing the other half. Yuki and Hiro are awing silently and watching. Shuichi thanks Suguru and kisses him softly. Hiro cannot contain it any further and squeals. He hugs both of the kids and gushes over how cute they are.

Though it causes Hiro to pout, he tells Yuki that they should give the kids some time to hang out together until they go out for lunch. They go up to Shuichi's bedroom. "Keep your door open, Shuichi!" Yuki yells. This causes both Suguru and Shuichi to blush. Hiro pushes Yuki and they laugh. They stay on the couch and decide to watch a movie

* * *

><p>Shuichi and Suguru decide to sit on his bed. He's shut the door a little, but not completely. Suguru leans forward and kisses Shuichi. Shuichi pulls Suguru close and they continue the kiss. Suguru crawls onto Shuichi's lap and Shuichi places his hands on Suguru's hips. Suguru wraps his arms around Shuichi's neck and pulls away from Shuichi's lips.<p>

"I've liked you for a long time, Shuichi. You just always seemed so distant." Shuichi is surprised. "Since when?" He asks. Suguru blushes. "Middle school." Shuichi is overcome. Suguru had known that he existed the whole time. Shuichi leans forward and captures Suguru's lips again. Suguru moans a little and opens his mouth to let Shuichi's tongue enter. Shuichi pulls back and they smile at each other. Yuki opens the door and Hiro gasps.

"Please tell me you're both dressed…" Yuki groans. Suguru practically jumps off of the bed. Shuichi rolls his eyes. "Yes, dad. We were being good." It takes a second but Shuichi, Hiro and Yuki are all stunned. It was meant to be ironic, but Shuichi still said it. He called Yuki dad. They had never discussed their relationship, outside of the teacher-student one. Yuki hugs Shuichi and then leaves the room. Hiro watches Yuki retreat.

He looks at Shuichi who has still not accepted it and then at Suguru who just looks lost. He smiles at Shuichi and follows Yuki. Yuki is cleaning the kitchen. Hiro wraps his arms around him. "How do you feel, Yuki?" Yuki turns around and smiles. "Complete."

After their movie has ended the boys have not come down they decide to go get them. Shuichi is taking his shirt off when they look through the door. Suguru, who is also shirtless, walks up behind him and runs his hands on his back. Yuki opens the door, though Hiro is telling him not to.

"What's going on?" They both jump, Suguru covers his chest but Shuichi does not. "I was showing him the scars on my back." Suguru steps back and grabs for a shirt. "I was showing him the scars I got on my chest from when I was learning to ride horses." Hiro sees Shuichi's and gasps. Yuki grimaces and pulls Hiro back. "We're about to go to lunch, so hurry down." They leave the room, though Hiro wants to talk to Shuichi. Suguru pulls the shirt on and Shuichi smiles. "That's my shirt." Suguru giggles and goes to take it off, but Shuichi stops him. "You can wear it." Suguru kisses him softly. "Only if you wear mine." Shuichi smiles and pulls Suguru's shirt on. "This is almost too tight."

They walk downstairs to see Yuki and Hiro.

* * *

><p>Yuki pulls Hiro out of Shuichi's room and into their own. "Did you see his back?" Hiro asks. Yuki sits him on the bed. "We can talk to him about it, we just have to wait for the right time." Hiro tries to stand so Yuki holds him down.<p>

"It's his birthday. He's having a good day, so let him enjoy. Tomorrow we can ask about it." Hiro sighs and agrees not to question Shuichi today. Yuki leans down and kisses Hiro softly. He releases Hiro's arms and Hiro wraps them around him and pulls him down against him.

"I love you Yuki." Yuki kisses him again. "I know." He gets off of Hiro. "Aren't you going to say it back?" Hiro asks. Yuki shrugs. "You know how I feel, so why should I have to say it?" Hiro is about to answer when they hear the boys come downstairs.

They walk out to meet them. They decide to order pizza and watch a movie together. The adults sit on the couch and the kids sit on the floor. It's about halfway through the movie that the kids look back and notice that Hiro and Yuki are sitting on opposite sides of the couch and not looking at each other at all.

When the movie is over Suguru heads home. Shuichi comes inside and sees that Yuki and Hiro are still not talking. He sits between them and looks down at his lap. "Today was really great. I wanted to thank you guys." They both look at him. "And I think we need to talk. There's what I said earlier to you, Yuki and I know you wanted to ask me about the scars, Hiro." They nod. "But we can't if you two aren't talking to each other. So, when you two have made up and want to talk, I'll be in my room." Shuichi gets up and walks away.

* * *

><p>Hiro and Yuki look at each other for a moment. "I love you Hiro." Yuki starts. Hiro nods. "It's nice to hear it sometimes, Yuki. It's reassuring. I know you love me… but it's good to have more than that. It's good to know I mean something to you." Yuki kisses Hiroshi. "I know. I'm sorry." Hiroshi strips Yuki of his shirt. "I just worry. I know you're going to leave me one day." Yuki flips them and gets on top of Hiroshi and kisses him. "Hiroshi, I never want to be away from you. I love you deeply and completely.<p>

* * *

><p>After spending some intimate time together Hiro and Yuki go up to Shuichi's room to talk. They knock on his door and get no reply. Yuki tries the door and sees that it's open. Hiro and Yuki smile at each other. They open the door and find that Shuichi is sleeping on his bed. Yuki turns the light off and Hiro covers him up before they close the door and go back to their room for the night.<p>

* * *

><p>It's not until the next morning that they can speak with Shuichi. Yuki is making waffles when Shuichi comes down. He lays his head down on the table and yawns. Hiroshi joins him in the yawn. Yuki lays plates down in front of both of them before going back and grabbing a plate for himself and sitting down.<p>

Hiroshi and Yuki begin eating, but Shuichi has not. Yuki and Hiroshi exchange glances and then hear Shuichi snoring. Hiroshi giggles and shakes him. Shuichi sits up. "Mmm?" Yuki rolls his eyes. "Eat, Shuichi."

Shuichi begins eating and smiles at Yuki. "Thank you for breakfast. I guess we should talk about last night, huh?" Yuki shrugs. "Only if you're ready to talk about it."

Shuichi nods. Hiroshi opens his mouth, but Shuichi interrupts him. "I think Yuki should get answers first. He made us breakfast." Yuki smirks at Hiro while Hiro pouts. Shuichi doesn't look up at Yuki. "I don't know what I'm supposed to call you. I don't know what kind of group this is. I was not even aware that I would be staying with you. You're my sensei and my caretaker. I don't know if this is long-term or if I can be taken at any time."

Yuki nods. "I offered to take you in, and they gave me emergency custody of you. I have custody of you until you are an adult and capable of living on your own." Hiroshi grabs one of Yuki's hands. "We obviously can't make our own kids. We've been talking about adopting, but Yuki kept telling me we needed to wait. When he told me about you, he said you needed it. We tried to make everything welcoming for you. I think we needed you, too."

Shuichi tears up. "I would like to stay as long as you'll let me. And I would like to consider you my fathers." Yuki pulls Shuichi into his lap and they both hug him. Shuichi wipes his eyes and stands up. He pulls his shirt off and unbuttons his pants. Hiro and Yuki look confused. Shuichi drops his pants and turns around. They see scars going from his back to the mid of his thighs. He turns around and sits down on his chair.

"My step-father was into kinky stuff. I would rather have these scars than the mental ones." Hiro grabs Shuichi's hand and pulls him close. "You're here now, and it'll get better."

* * *

><p>Shuichi calls Yuki dad. After a joke of Hiro being a mother, in which both Shuichi and Yuki laughed until they cried, Hiro became mom.<p>

School had been going on as normal. His relationship with Suguru was progressing. Suguru was almost at the point of telling his family about Shuichi. They hung out after school for a few minutes every day. Shuichi has wanted to find a job, but Yuki did not want him to. He told Shuichi that he would take care of him until he was done with his first year of college.

The trial was not going on, yet. His step-father was missing. He had posted bail and then skipped town. Shuichi was going to therapy regularly, though. He was working on putting the past behind him so that he can move on.

* * *

><p>His relationship with Suguru was something that kept him going. He could almost say he was in love with him. Suguru comes over after school sometimes when Yuki and Hiro aren't home. They sit on Shuichi's bed and kiss, but nothing else. Then they set up in the living room and watch movies while they do homework.<p>

Yuki usually comes home first and waves at them. He is usually home within half an hour of the boys. Hiro is the last to get home. He is usually home a few hours after everyone else and rarely gets to see Suguru.

Suguru comes over, like usual, and they go up to Shuichi's bedroom. It's 'teacher meeting' week, so Yuki won't be home for at least another two hours.

They get into Shuichi's bed and Shuichi begins kissing him. Suguru moans into the kiss and kisses back, softly parting his lips. Shuichi takes advantage of this and plunges his tongue inside of his mouth. He slips his hand inside of Suguru's pants and rubs his butt. Suguru gasps, but doesn't pull back. He moves his hands down Shuichi's chest slowly and kisses him again. Shuichi moves his hand to be inside of Suguru's boxers and begins to search for Suguru's opening.

Suguru moves back. "You're moving too fast, Shu." Shuichi doesn't stop. He continues kissing Suguru and pulls his shirt off. "Shuichi, stop." Shuichi pushes him down and undoes his pants. "Stop! Shuichi, let me go!" Shuichi looks down at Suguru. "This is the next step. We've kissed and now we move on to this." He sits back and tries to help Suguru up, but Suguru slaps his hand away.

"The next step is whatever we chose for it to be. I'm not ready for this step. I don't know how far you've gone, but I'm a virgin and I intend to stay that way until I am ready. I'm okay with kissing…" Suguru sits up and puts his hand on Shuichi's cheek. "I'm okay with with us holding each other…" he hugs Shuichi and Shuichi hugs back. "But I'm not ready for that, Shuichi."

Shuichi kisses Suguru's head and nods. "I understand. I'm sorry, please forgive me." Suguru looks into his eyes. "I forgive you." He kisses Shuichi softly.

"Have you gone all the way, Shuichi?" Shuichi shrugs. "It's a long story." Suguru lays his head on Shuichi's shoulder. "I'm listening." Shuichi swallows hard. This isn't something he wants to do. "That's a step that I'm not ready for, Suguru. It's painful to think about…" Suguru looks into his eyes. "Did someone hurt you?" Shuichi looks away. "I don't want to talk about it right now." Suguru stops talking but tightens his grip on Shuichi.

"If you're ready to move to another step, we can try something else." Shuichi blinks and looks at Suguru. Suguru slips a hand into Shuichi's pants, he is blushing heavily. He grips Shuichi, and Shuichi grasps. Suguru begins to give Shuichi and hand job and Shuichi kisses him. He gasps and moans and before long cums onto Suguru's hand.

Suguru grabs some tissue and wipes his hand; Shuichi wipes himself off. They're both breathing heavily and blushing. Suguru is still hard. Shuichi undoes his pants and Suguru shivers. "Shu, be gentle. I've never done anything like this." Shuichi nods and pulls Suguru out of his pants. Shuichi runs his hands on Suguru's manhood. Suguru moans and whimpers when Shuichi stops. Shuichi leans forward and takes Suguru into his mouth. Suguru grasps his hair and groans. Shuichi bobs his head and allows Suguru to thrust inexperiencedly into his mouth. It only takes a few moments for Suguru to come. He warns Shuichi beforehand, and tries to pull him back and Shuichi doesn't stop. He drinks Suguru down and uses a tissue to wipe the remainder from his body.

They get redressed and begin kisses again. "I love you Shuichi." Shuichi smiles, "I love you too." They both relax and fall asleep together. The wake when they feel someone shaking them. An upset looking Yuki and a concerned Hiro stand above them. "I think it's time for Suguru to go home, Shuichi." Yuki says. Suguru jumps up. He was supposed to have been home a long time ago. Shuichi gets up. He wants some time before they talk. "I'll walk you home. It's late and it's dark outside."

Suguru says goodbye to Hiro and Yuki, as does Shuichi, and they walk toward his house. He notices that he has many missed calls and texts and voicemails, mostly from his father. He turns his phone off and puts it in his pocket. They walk silently until they reach his house. His father is on the porch waiting.

"Where the hell have you been?" Suguru bites his lip. "With a friend." His father grabs his arm and pulls him to the porch. Shuichi is shocked. "Is this the boy you've been spending all your time with?" Suguru is wincing and nods. Shuichi walks forward. "I'm Shuichi Shindou, sir." Seguichi-sama releases Suguru and walks down to Shuichi. "I know who you are. You're the whore that Eiri-sensei took in." Shuichi is surprised by Seguichi's words. "Daddy, he's a good guy." Suguru says. Seguichi shakes his head. "He's a whore. He slept with his own mother's lover." Suguru looks at Shuichi. "He didn't want it, daddy."

Seguichi punches Shuichi and Shuichi falls. Seguichi holds him down. "What have you been telling my son? Trying to turn him into one of you? I don't want you around him every again." Shuichi looks up at Seguichi and shakes his head. "We're in love." Seguichi gets up and kicks Shuichi in the stomach. Suguru pushes his father away and kneels down to comfort Shuichi. Seguichi grabs his son by the wrist and drags him into the house. Shuichi gets up and walks back home.

When he gets inside Yuki is pacing and Hiro is sitting on the table. Shuichi admires, quietly before they see him, how different they are. He clears his throat and they look over at him. Yuki loses his anger and Hiro jumps off the table. "Baby, you have a black eye! What happened?" I shake my head. "Seguichi-sama does not like me." Hiro and Yuki look at each other with frowns.

"I'm sorry that we were in bed together. I know you don't want us up there alone together." Yuki and Hiro sit down. I take a chair at the table as well. "You shouldn't just go right for sex. It should be something that you both feel ready for. And… Suguru has never done anything like this before." Shuichi blushes. "We didn't have sex. We're going to wait until we're both completely ready." Yuki sighs. "That's good. Seguichi-sama is very protective of Suguru-kun." Shuichi tilts his head. "How do you know that?"

Hiro snorts. "Seguichi has been trying to get into his pants for a long time." Shuichi's eyes open wide. "Is he the one that hit you?" Yuki asks. Shuichi shrugs. "I'm okay." Yuki asks for the whole story and Shuichi tells him what happened. Hiro is livid. "I'm going over there right now." Yuki holds his waist and Hiroshi tries to get away from his grasp. "It's okay, mom. He was protecting his child. That's what good fathers should be doing." Hiro straightens up. "Exactly! And that's what I'm going to go do!" Yuki kisses Hiro and sits him down on the table. Hiro sits and grimaces. "He's a grown man! Shuichi is just a kid."

Shuichi puts a hand in Hiro's. "It's fine. I'd like to go to bed." They take Shuichi upstairs and Hiro cleans his cuts. They tuck him into bed and say their goodnights.


	4. Chapter 4

Shuichi wakes at around three in the morning. There is something outside of his window. He is terrified and doesn't know if he should go see, or scream or turn and run out of the room. "Shu!" He hears his name harshly whispered. He sighs and walks over to the window. Suguru is climbing the outside of the house. Shuichi quickly pulls him up. "That was dangerous. What are you doing here?"

Suguru kisses him deeply. "Make love to me," he demands. Shuichi is more than surprised. Suguru kisses him again and attempts to pull his shirt off, but Shuichi grabs his hands. "What is going on?" Suguru tries moving his arms, but Shuichi has him pinned down. He begins crying and Shuichi lets him go. Shuichi turns his light on and gasps at the sight of Suguru's badly beaten face. He can tell the marks go all over his body.

"My father is sending me away tomorrow. Next week I will be in London, studying at an all-boy, catholic school." Shuichi frowns. He wraps his arms around Suguru. "I don't want to be away from you, but there's nothing that I can do. I'm sixteen and I don't have a job or anything. So, I didn't want to leave without seeing you again, and ready-or-not it's now or never. I want you to have me."

Shuichi kisses him and begins to undress them. "The light…" Suguru reminds Shuichi, but Shuichi shakes his head. "I want to see you." He lays Suguru on his back and opens his legs. "This will hurt a little. Don't worry." Shuichi uses lotion to insert on finger inside of Suguru. Suguru tenses and gasps. "Oh, Shu. It hurts…" Shu kisses him softly and moves the finger in and out. Shuichi slowly inserts a second finger.

Suguru's body is covered in sweat. He is panting and looking at Shuichi through lust-filled eyes. "Does it feel good yet?" Shuichi asks. He wiggles his fingers deeper and bumps against a little button that makes Suguru scream. Shuichi covers Suguru's mouth and adds a third finger. Suguru moans and whines. Shuichi pushes in a few more times; Suguru arches his back and strokes himself rapidly before cuming.

Shuichi smiles at him and kisses him softly. "Ready?" Suguru nods and rolls onto his stomach. Shuichi lies on the bed and pulls Suguru on top. "I want to see you." Suguru smiles and straddles his lap. Shuichi guides him down and enters him. Suguru bites his lip and inches down. He cries out when Shuichi is half-way inside. Shuichi pauses and lets Suguru adjust. He uses more lotion and Suguru inches the rest of him inside.

Suguru places his hands on Shuichi's chest and they kiss while Suguru becomes ready. Suguru lifts himself and then eases back down. They both moan. Suguru grabs Shuichi's hand and they continue to make love.

When they end, together, they lie together. Suguru is resting on Shuichi's chest. "I want to know what happened to you." Suguru says. Shuichi is running his hand through Suguru's hair. "Your father already told you." Suguru shakes his head and wraps an arm around Shuichi. "You didn't do it willingly." Shuichi sighs. "My mom was dating him when I was really young. It started with him just touching me a little bit back then. When I was eleven or twelve, though, it moved to different things and it became a nightly occurrence. My mom died when I was thirteen. I stayed with him the whole time. That was when he began to force me to have sex. He was using my mother to get to me, for the most part." Suguru tries not to cry. Shuichi can feel tears running down his chest.

"If that had never happened to me, I wouldn't have ever been able to talk to you. I wouldn't know you. I guess you have to take the bad with the good." Suguru looks into his eyes. "It was worth it, just to end up with you." Shuichi says. Suguru kisses him and holds him tight. "Marry me Shuichi. They can't make me leave you. I'm just old enough and you're old enough. Please?" Shuichi is surprised.

"Su, it's four in the morning and we don't have the money or transportation or rings." Suguru gets up hurriedly and grabs his pants. He pulls out a wad of cash and two aluminum looking 25 cent rings. "It has to be tonight, Shuichi. We need to find a way. I don't want to be without you. I love you." Shuichi gets up and hugs Suguru tightly. "Alright. We'll give it a shot." They pack up a few things and leave Yuki and Hiro a note. They say, simply, that they've gone to get married and will be back soon. They sneak out of the house and get on Suguru's bike. They bike into the next town and further.

By the time its morning and things are opening up they're many different towns away. They go into a church and are greeted by an old man. "It's a bit early, isn't it kids?" They take each other's hands. "We would like to be married. Can you do that?" The old man blinks in surprised. "I don't think you're old enough." Suguru looks at Shuichi panicking. "We rode a bike here. It took all night. We have money. I'm seventeen and he's sixteen. We love each other; we need each other. Please, father." The old man sighs.

"I will do it, but I will not accept payment." He asks the boys to step up to the podium with him. He reads from the bible and the boys listen. Suguru followed, silently mouthing the words he knew by heart. Shuichi watched Suguru's lips form the words, the beautiful words, which he had never heard before.

When the father is done he asks them to join hands. He asks them to promise to themselves, each other and to God that they will stay together forever; that they will love each other and be loyal and caring.

They agree and he announces them to be one. They kiss and thank the father. He wishes them well and sends them on their way.

Line

Suguru and Shuichi decide to have breakfast together. They're sitting in a diner and sharing a breakfast plate. "I wonder if anyone has noticed yet." Shuichi mumbles, pulling out his cell phone. Suguru does the same. He looks at Shuichi and they both lay their phones down. "On the count of three. Ready? One… Two… Three..." They both turn their phones on to find massive messages.

Suguru has many threats. He needs to come home right now, or else. If his father catches him with that boy, he'll be in trouble. He'd better not be at Yuki-sensei's house or he'll be sorry, and so on. Most of Shuichi's are just asking where he is and what he means. He replies to Hiro that he's a few towns away. Hiro calls immediately.

Shuichi answers while Suguru is still reading through his messages. "Where in the fuck are you?" Yuki's voice asks over the phone. It has Shuichi trembling. "I'm in Kyoto." He hears Yuki growl and Hiro try to take the phone back.

"What was this nonsense about you getting married?" Shuichi swallows hard. "Seguichi-sama is sending Suguru away. He came over last night to tell me. I love him, and I don't want to lose anyone else. So, we left and we came here and we're legally married now." Yuki sighs and explains the situation to Hiro. "We understand, but we're not happy. I mean, we're happy that you're in love, but not that you just up and left, but it's understandable. You two need to come back now, though, and face the uproar like adults." Shuichi sighs. "I know. We'll head back soon." Hiro takes the phone from Yuki. "We can pick you up, baby. Just meet up at the front entrance of the mall there." Shuichi agrees and they hang up the phone.

He looks over at Suguru who has lost his color. "My father is going to kill me when we get home." Shuichi frowns. "I won't let him hurt you." Suguru looks up at him and smiles. "The good news is that he kicked me out of the house and the family, so he won't be sending me away." Shuichi grabs his hand. "I love you." Suguru wipes his eyes. "I love you too."

Line

They wait in front of the mall and talk about what they're going to do. What it means now that they're really married. Hiro and Yuki arrive within the hour. Yuki gets out of the car and punches Shuichi. Shuichi falls back from the surprised. Hiro and Suguru gasp. Yuki then helps Shuichi up and hugs him tightly.

"Don't ever do that again. You scared us." He lets go of Shuichi and checks out his face. Shuichi is smiling a little. "And you got married without us." Shuichi hugs Yuki. "I'm sorry dad." They get into Yuki's car and begin the drive home. "How come we aren't married?" Hiro asks. Yuki sighs. "No, no. Don't ignore me. Those two have only been together for a few months and they're married. We've been together for five years, Yuki." Yuki doesn't respond with words, he simply turns the radio on. Hiroshi turns it off and faces Yuki. "I want an answer!" Yuki grits his teeth. "Because I don't trust you!" Hiroshi is silenced. Shuichi and Suguru are sitting quietly in the back. Yuki and Hiro don't even realize that they're still in the car.

"Yuki, it's been three and a half years. You don't trust me?" Yuki speeds up. "Answer me! You still don't trust me? I haven't proven myself to you yet?" Hiroshi asks, sounding like he's about to cry. "How am I supposed to trust you? You've already cheated on me before. You refuse to quit your hourly-waged prostitution. What am I supposed to think?" Hiroshi is shocked; they all are. Hiroshi wipes his eyes.

"You told me you were sick of me. You said I was lucky you could even stand me! I was depressed and I went for a drink. I didn't mean for it to happen. It didn't mean anything to me. It was just sex. Sex without love is meaningless. It's never happened again and it never will. I do not prostitute myself and I am not a whore. I only love you. I only sleep with you. I only want to be with you." Hiroshi says. He wipes his eyes again.

"And if you had only been with me it would be no problem. It did mean something, Hiroshi. It meant that I couldn't trust you. I meant that I wasn't enough for you. And you know what? I regret the day I told you I loved you. I should have listened to my mother. Once a whore, always a whore." Hiroshi is staring at Yuki; his eyes are open wide and filled with tears. No one says anything for the rest of the car ride.

Line

As soon as they get home Hiroshi heads for the master bathroom. He locks the door and turns the shower on. Yuki does not seem bothered. He doesn't seem worried or upset about anything. He goes to his study and closes the door. Shuichi is pretty sure that he has locked it. He looks at Suguru and around the empty house. They decide to go to his room and leave the door open, just in case.

They sit on Shuichi's bed and listen to the silence in the house. They had agreed previously, while waiting for Yuki and Hiroshi to pick them up at the mall, to go together to talk to Suguru's father. If nothing else, Suguru wanted to get some of his stuff and his cat. The thing they were uncertain of was if Hiroshi and Yuki would allow Suguru to live with them or if he needed to find another place to stay.

Shuichi lies in his back and Suguru lays his head on Shuichi's chest. They both realize that they are exhausted and fall asleep together.

Line

Hiroshi hurries into the house, determined not to let anyone see that he is crying. He shuts the bathroom door as silently as he can and locks the door. He turns the shower on and begins sobbing. He undresses violently. He flings his clothes to the floor and grabs his hair. He gets into the shower and continues to cry until his head hurts. He feels like he's going to explode. He digs his nails into his arms and cuts them superficially. He sinks down and sits down while the shower washes over him.

He eventually turns the shower off and gets dressed. He grabs his cigarettes and his mp3 player and checks up on Shuichi and Suguru. They're lying in bed sleeping soundly. He heads outside and walks to the park. Once he gets there he looks for a bench to sleep on.

Line

Yuki walks into the house following Hiroshi. He didn't mean for those things to come out. He had ceased talking to his mother for over a year when she had said that to him. He did love Hiroshi and he had forgiven him for having an affair. It was just so hard for Yuki to trust, after what had happened to him before. The reason he hadn't married Hiroshi is because he never wants to be hurt.

He watches Hiroshi climb the stairs; he can see that he is crying. The master bathroom door shuts and locks. Yuki walks into his office. He can hear the shower running. He leans back in his chair and sighs. He lights a cigarette and stares at his laptop. He doesn't feel like writing at all. After sitting in the chair and staring into space for a while he hears the front door close. Something tells him it's Hiroshi.

He opens the door to his study and walks upstairs to see who is gone. He looks into Shuichi's room and sees him and Suguru snuggling and sleeping on his bed. He sighs and turns around.

Hiro has left the house. He knows that he is probably at the park, but should he go look for him? Was this the kind of fight that would end their relationship? Yuki didn't know if he could apologize for what he had said. There was an element of truth to all of it, even if he never meant for any of it to hurt him.

He grabs a coat and heads out the door after leaving a note for Shuichi and Suguru that he would be back soon. He walks to the park and looks around for any sign of Hiro. He finally spots him lying in the grass under a tree. Yuki sits next to him, but Hiro is asleep and listening to loud music. Yuki covers him up with the coat and lifts him into his arms.

Yuki carries Hiro back home and places him in bed. He has decided that Hiro is right and, even though he still isn't ready to get married, he needs to let Hiro know that he does forgive him. That it is just his own fear that is keeping him from the commitment.

He goes into the living room and thinks. He tries to come up with what he is going to say.


	5. Chapter 5

Hiro lies on the guest bed. It is less comfortable than their bed. Hiro shakes his head and sighs. Eiri's bed; It's not his. It's not even theirs anymore.

Hiro flips to his side. It was only going on a few days but he misses Eiri already. He had planned on partying and being out of the house most of the time but instead he had called in to work and refused to leave the room. Shu had tried to bring him lunch even, but Hiro had no appetite.

He wanted Eiri, but there was nowhere for their relationship to go if Eiri didn't trust him. Eiri hadn't even come to visit him since he'd been gone. Hiro gets up and ties his hair back. It's time for a trip to the liquor store. If he couldn't have Eiri's love he was going to get drunk and remain so until the pain went away.

Lineline

Shuichi was very worried about his mother and father. Both refused to eat or leave. Shuichi lies down in his bed for the night. He knew they both wanted to see each other but they were both being too stubborn. Suguru kisses his shoulder and Shu sighs. "Not right now Sug."

He wasn't sure if it was over between them for sure or not. He didn't know if that meant the end for him to be there as well. Suguru kisses his neck. He had noticed that it was tense around them. If was weird for him to say mom or dad, as if they were still part of a set.

Suguru rocks against him and Shu moves away. "Sug, I'm not in the mood." He says again, quietly. Sug holds him down and looks into his eyes. "What's wrong?" Shuichi looks away. "I'm worried about my parents." Suguru sighs and kisses him. "They aren't even your real parents." Shuichi frowns and Suguru begins undoing his shirt. "I know, but they're the best parents I've ever had." Suguru lays his head down on Shu's chest.

"They will be fine love. They will kiss and make up in a week. Please, I'm your husband and this is what a wife does for his husband." Shu looks at him. "Why am I the wife?" Sug smiles and leans up. "Because I own you," he answers simply. Shuichi glares at him. "Nobody owns me."

Suguru sits on and is straddling Shuichi. He sighs and looks at Shuichi. "You're taking your past abuse out on me, Shu." Shuichi's eyes open wide. Was he? Suguru is still frowning. "We're going to end up like Eiri and Hiro if you can't trust me." Shuichi's eyes water. "Show me you trust me Shuichi." Shuichi looks away from him and nods. Suguru undresses him and moves his head to look into his eyes. "Ride me."

Shuichi gets up slowly and crawls onto Suguru's lap. Suguru lines himself and thrusts in. Shuichi is crying; he lifts his hips and pushes back down. Suguru grasps his hips and groans. He feels the tears falling onto his chest and looks at Shuichi's face. One of Shuichi's hands is on his chest, the other is holding in his sobs. Suguru stops and grabs Shu into a tight hug.

"Baby, why are you crying?" Shuichi gets up on wobbly legs and shakes his head. He puts a robe on and wipes his tears. "I need to go talk to my dad. I'm sorry, good night." Shuichi says as he wobbles out the door.

He makes his way to Eiri's room and knocks on the door. Eiri opens it looking like he had been sleeping. He lets Shuichi in and Shuichi hugs him tight. "Shu, what's wrong?" Shuichi sniffles. "Can I ask you something?" Eiri nods and looks at Shuichi's face.

"Is it wrong to give someone what they want to make them happy, even if you don't want it?" Eiri pets Shuichi. "You always have the right to say no." Shuichi wipes his face. "What if he stops loving me? I mean, we're married. It's his right to take me, isn't it?"

Eiri brings Shuichi to bed and lies down beside him. "Shuichi, what if he said no? Would you force him?" Shuichi shakes his head. "Exactly. It's not right. Being married doesn't give either of you the right to hurt the other." They are silent for a minute. "He didn't force me. I started crying and he stopped. I'm just scared. It's hard to get over the past. I'm making big deals out of little things."

Eiri kisses his head. "It'll work out son. Talk to him. He will understand. If he doesn't then he's not worth keeping."

Shuichi smiles and closes his eyes, falling asleep quickly. When Eiri is sure he's asleep he leaves the room and goes to Hiro's. He knocks lightly and a sleepy, half-naked Hiro answers the door. "Eiri? It's two in the morning." Eiri looks down, worried he would be caught ogling Hiro if he did not.

"Can we talk?" Hiro shifts his hips, placing his hand on them. "Is this a booty call?" He asks. Eiri looks at him questioningly. "No… I really need to talk." Hiro nods and walks away from the door.

Eiri walks into the room and Hiro sits on the pillows of his bed. Eiri sits on the edge. "Shuichi just asked me if it was Suguru's right to have sex with him if he didn't want it." Hiro's jaw opens and he growls. "I'm going to kill him!" Eiri shakes his head. "He didn't force him. Shuichi said he agreed but started crying. He stopped when he noticed that Shu was crying." Hiro frowns.

"Why was he crying?" Hiro asks. Eiri shrugs a little and looks down at his lap. "It's hard to trust someone with you after something bad has happened to you." Hiro sighs. "I know." Eiri looks up at Hiro. "I think… I think that I need to tell you something that I've never told you before. Something I've never told anyone." Hiro looks at him curiously.

"Hiro, it's been hard for me to trust you. It was hard for me to come into this relationship. When you cheated on me, it broke the trust I had built for you. I love you so much that I tried again. I told myself I would never trust anyone, but you have been my exception."

Hiro crawls to Eiri and wraps his arms around him. "Someone hurt you?" He asks. Eiri takes Hiro's hands into his and kisses them. "My tutor." Hiro sniffles. "Why did you never tell me?" Eiri shrugs. "Not something I like talking about." He pulls Hiro into his lap and looks into his eyes.

"Do you see how much I love you? I need you Hiro." Hiro wipes his eyes and nods. Hiro kisses him and then hugs him tight.

Line

Shu wakes up without his dad in bed. He sits up and stretches. The clock says that it's almost five in the morning. Shu tip-toes back to his bedroom quietly. Suguru is asleep. He gets into bed with him, vowing to remain honest, and snuggles next to him. Suguru's arm wraps around him but his eyes never open and they don't speak.

Line

Shu wakes up to Sug kissing him. "Do you feel better?" Shuichi nods his head. "What happened?" Suguru asks. Shuichi wraps his arms around Suguru. "Sometimes… It is hard to be intimate. It's true, and it's not fair: I do take my past out on you. But my past is part of me. If you want me, you have to deal with that part of me as well."

Shuichi feels confident for saying it. He stuck up for himself. He knew his loving husband would understand. He looks up and into Suguru's confused face. "I don't understand." He says. Shuichi's hope dies a little.

"I'm messed up. Sometimes… when I think about having sex… it scares me. No matter how many times we do, I think it will happen." Suguru pushes him away. "So you're saying that, just because one person messed with you, I'll have to spend the rest of my life with you too afraid of having sex?"

Shuichi is stunned. "It doesn't happen every time. It won't happen every time. It's not you, it's me. I'm just asking you to be patient with me."

Suguru sighs and pulls Shuichi back close to him. "I'm sorry, Shu. I'm being an asshole. I'm not a morning person. I love you, with or without sex. I am willing to wait and work with you." Shuichi kisses him and Suguru wraps his arms around his waist.

"We could skip class today." Suguru offers while kissing down Shuichi's torso. Shuichi squeaks when Suguru bites one of his nipples.

"N… no. Mom said we could live here together as long as we stayed in school." Suguru inches further down and Shuichi moans. "We are still in school. Come on, just for our honeymoon." Shuichi pants softly as Suguru licks his hardening member.

"Please, need you." Shuichi gasps. Suguru smiles up at him. "Say the words, Shuichi." Shuichi nods fiercely. "Yes, anything. Please?" Suguru responds by fulfilling his wish. They lie in bed afterward and cuddle. Hiro comes in about an hour later to wake them.

"Guys, it's time for school. You're going to be late." He says authoritatively. Shuichi wakes but Suguru does not. "We aren't going in today. It's our honeymoon. We just want a few days off and then we're going back. Please?" Hiro smiles for a moment. "Okay, but only for a few days. But that doesn't mean you can just hang around and have sex. There are still chores to be done. And I'll make sure your dad picks up your homework." Shuichi smiles and thanks his mom.

Hiro goes to work and Shuichi decides to get up to make breakfast for Suguru and himself. He doesn't know how to make much, but he'd learned how to make some pretty good things. He puts the plates on the table right as Suguru comes out of their bedroom.

"You made breakfast?" He asks. He seems surprised. "I got up first, so I thought 'Why not?" Suguru kisses the back of his neck and off to his shoulders. Shuichi shivers and turns around. "I can't cook with you doing that." He comments. Suguru turns the burner off and bends Shuichi over the counter.

Shuichi moans and inches back so that their bodies touch. Suguru pulls Shuichi's pants down along with his own pants. Shuichi opens his legs and groans when Suguru enters him. He pulls Shuichi's hips back to meet with his own.

"Sug… harder." He says shakily. He leans on the counter to keep him upright. He thrusts his hips back in time with Suguru's movement. Suguru stops halfway through and pushes Shuichi onto the table. Shuichi wraps his legs around Suguru's middle and Suguru re-enters him.

Shuichi moans and vaguely recalls catching his mom and dad in the same position. The table knocks against the wall and Shuichi calls out as he comes. Suguru kisses him softly and leaves him to breathe while he finishes making breakfast.

Line

Hiro is stripping. It's one of his favorite songs, "Filthy Gorgeous" by the Scissor Sisters. It was somewhat true, when Eiri said it, that Hiro was nothing but a whore. He knew it was true. He was okay with being a whore. He was okay with being disgusting. He was not okay with Eiri thinking that he was any of those things, though. He often wondered why it was just the strippers who were considered dirty whores. They wouldn't be entertainment if there was no one to entertain.

He is left only in some tight shorts and is shaking his ass. He feels someone spank him and he turns. It was absolutely not okay for anyone to touch the strippers like that. He sees Eiri's cocky grin and smirks back. He loses the shorts slowly and pays attention to the other men in the crowd- letting their hands linger longer than need be on his flesh.

Eiri seems amused and jumps onstage. Hiro is stunned. Eiri had never done anything like this before. The music stops. Hiro is sure they're going to kick Eiri out. Instead, Eiri walks toward him and hands him a single rose. He sees the bouncers smiling at him.

He takes the rose and curiously accepts the kiss Eiri bestows on him. He then watches, with tears slowly filling his eyes, as Eiri gets on one knee.

"Hiro, I love you more than anything. Will you marry me?" Hiro is floored. He steps back, slipping on his discarded top and falls on his butt. Eiri looks amused and gets up to help him up. Hiro wraps his arms around him. "Yes! Of course!" And kisses him. Eiri slowly slips the ring on his finger. The people in the audience clap and cheer for him.

Eiri gets up near the microphone and says "Sorry, but I'm taking him home with me. You can have him back in a few days." And winks. Hiro wipes his face and blows kisses to the crowd as Eiri drags him out.

They decide to keep it low. They tell the boys before heading off on a mini-early honeymoon. They decide to wait to get married until they're a little more settled.

lineline

Shuichi and Suguru clean the house and retire to the couch to watch a movie. Suguru kisses at Shuichi's neck and Shuichi continues watching the movie. Suguru bites him softly and runs a hand up his side. "Sug, stop. I want to watch this movie."

"Come on Shu. It's been two weeks." Shuichi shrugs away from him. "I'm not in the mood Sug." Suguru sits up and raises his voice. "Shuichi, I want you. I'm having you, whether you like it or not!" He pushes Shuichi onto the couch and holds him down.

Shuichi gasps and fights back in a panic. Suguru hits him in the face and holds his hands down. "No, please! Let me go!" Suguru growls and throws Shuichi to the floor. He crawls away from Suguru and turns back around.

"You're a worthless husband. I wish I knew how your father got so much sex out of you." Shuichi is crying and rapidly wiping his eyes. He walks toward Shuichi. Shuichi cowers, flinching when Suguru grabs his arm and digs his nails in. "If you won't give me any, I'll find some elsewhere." The door opens and Eiri and Hiro stop smiling and walk rapidly over to the scene they see.

Suguru releases Shuichi and walks out the door. Hiro hugs Shuichi and lets him cry on his chest. "Sweetheart, what happened?" Shuichi sniffles. Eiri ushers then to sit on the couch. "I'm not in the mood to have sex, and and… It made Suguru mad, and he held me down…" Shuichi sobs harder and can't continue.

Hiro rubs Shuichi's back. Eiri is gritting his teeth. "Baby, did he… force you?" Hiro asks softly. Shuichi shakes his head. "Did he hit you?" Eiri asks, louder but still with a gentle voice. Shuichi nods.

"Baby, why do you stay with him?" Shuichi shakes his head. Once Shuichi stops crying Eiri hugs him. "I am not going to allow him to remain here if he's abusive Shuichi. You know you're welcome here forever, but I'm not going to let him hurt you."

Shuichi nods. "He's usually nice to me. I don't know what happened…" Eiri pets the boy and asks for help in making dinner.

Lineline

Suguru comes home late that night. Shuichi is sitting on the couch- Eiri and Hiro had already gone to bed. He was watching his comfort movie.

Suguru stands at the edge of the couch and Shuichi ignores him completely. "I'm sorry Shuichi." Suguru says softly. Shuichi looks at him, his eyes shining with the sadness he felt. "My dad isn't going to let you live with us anymore if this happens again."

Suguru sits next to Shuichi and takes his hand. "I wouldn't want you to stay with me if I acted like this again. I don't know what came over Shuichi, but I love you. You know I do. I never want to hurt you."

Shuichi wipes his eyes and nods. "I love you too." Suguru kisses his lips softly. "Please forgive me. I'm such a jerk. I know that it's hard for you to have sex. I shouldn't have said anything baby. I'm sorry. We can wait." Shuichi accepts his hug and wraps his arms around Suguru.

Suguru picks Shuichi up and carries him to the bedroom. "Can I stay in here with you?" Suguru asks softly. Shuichi nods his head. Suguru undresses and gets into bed. He wraps his arms around Shuichi and kisses. "I love you so much Shuichi." Shuichi falls asleep on his husband's chest.

Lineline

Both Eiri and Hiro know that Shuichi is going to forgive Suguru and they're going to remain together, for now. They weren't happy with what happened, but they knew that this was Shuichi's life and he was going to have to be the one to decide what he needed to do.

The next morning they see both the kids making breakfast for everyone. They all say good morning and sit down to eat. Eiri gulps his coffee while Hiro sips this. Shuichi watches out of the corner of his eye and admires, again, the odd differences between the two of them.

Eiri clears his throat; both Hiro and Shuichi know that this is going to be unpleasant. "I know that Shuichi has forgiven you, Suguru. I, however, will not forget this. Shuichi is my child, and I will not stand by and allow this to happen. Do you understand?"

Suguru nods his head and grabs Shuichi's hand. "It won't happen again, Eiri-sensei. I don't know what came over me, but I love Shuichi and I never want to hurt him." Shuichi squeezes his hand gently. They continue eating quietly and go to school.

Lineline

During lunch they meet up to share bagged lunches. They go off campus and to a nearby church park. Suguru kisses Shuichi's lips softly, and with a frown kisses the bruise on his face. They sit down and start eating. Suguru feeds Shuichi a strawberry and leans down to kiss him.

Shuichi kisses back and pulls him closer. Suguru run his hand up Shuichi's shirt and promptly pulls it off. Before Shuichi can complain he moves down to suck and bite his little, pink nipples.

Shuichi gasps and grabs a hold of his hair. Suguru undoes Shuichi's pants, but Shuichi squirms away. "We're in a park and we have to head back to class soon." He says; his breath heavy. Suguru kisses him again and unzip his own pants. "We just need to hurry. Please Shuichi, I need you." Shuichi bites his lip and nods.

Suguru leans back against a tree, hidden from most view, and Shuichi sits on his lap. Shuichi bounces, hands grasping Suguru's shoulders. Suguru thrusts into him deeply, without mercy or care. They try to be quiet, but Shuichi has always been loud during sex.

Suguru comes and Shuichi follows soon after. They sit together for a moment before getting dressed. They walk back to school and find that they are thirty minutes late. Shuichi curses and runs for class. Suguru takes his time and follows.

Lineline

They head home and sit at the table to eat something. Shuichi gets a text from his dad that says "we need to talk". Shuichi is nervous and responds stating that he is home.

Suguru sits next to him curiously. "Who are you texting?" Shuichi shakes his head and puts the phone in his pocket. It'll vibrate if his dad tries contacting him. Suguru grabs his wrist, he winces. He quickly lets go and apologizes. "Sorry Shu, just… who are you talking to?"

Shuichi rubs his wrist. All of this possessiveness is starting to make him angry. "I wasn't talking to anybody! Can't I have a fucking minute to myself?"

Suguru is surprised. "Jesus Shu, take a fucking chill pill. Are you on your monthly?"

Shuichi growls and stomps up toward his room. "You can sleep on the fucking couch tonight," he says before slamming the door. Only a moment later there is a knock.

"Fuck off. I don't want to talk right now." He shouts. The door rattles for another moment before swinging open. It is not Suguru, but rather his dad that comes in with a very bad expression on his face. Shuichi looks down at his lap.

"I'm sorry; I thought you were Suguru…" Eiri sighs. "We need to talk about him." Shuichi wipes his eyes and nods. "He didn't make it to class after lunch. I also hear you showed up halfway through."

Shuichi bites his lip and nods. "That's not good, but what came next was deplorable. It seems one of the church leaders was watering his flowers when we happened upon two teenage boys fucking each other in his park." Eiri is raising his voice.

"I thought to myself 'Shuichi is too smart to do something like that'. There aren't many pink-haired gay boys around here. Are you fucking stupid?" Eiri all but yells at Shuichi. Shuichi is crying onto his sleeves.

"I didn't think it was something you would do, but then I remember Suguru. He's a bad influence on you. He's hurting you and making you do these stupid things that you wouldn't have normally done without him."

"But I love him! I promise it won't happen again." Shuichi sobs. Eiri sighs. "It had better not Shuichi."

Eiri leaves the room and Shuichi continues crying. Suguru comes in moments later and wraps his arms around Shuichi. "Sweetheart, I'm sorry. I didn't think it would take so long, and I didn't think we would get caught. This is all my fault." Shuichi sniffles. "No, it's my fault too. I could have said no."

Suguru lies down on his back and pulls Shuichi to lie down next to him.

Lineline

The boys fall asleep and Eiri sits on the couch in deep contemplation. He doesn't know if he should make Suguru leave, or if he should remain and let Shuichi see the error of his ways.

Hiro comes through the door and smiles softly at Eiri. Eiri gasps. Hiro has a black eye, and Eiri is sure as fuck that he didn't have it when he left the house earlier.

"What happened to your face?" Eiri asks, getting up to inspect his boyfriend. Hiro shrugs. "Got into a fight."

Eiri kisses the side of his face, Hiro winces and smiles. "What happened?"

Hiro walks into the kitchen and shrugs. "I got fired." Eiri is stunned. Everyone at work loved him. He was one of the most asked for men that worked there.

"I had to be up more than usual because we had a group of American tourists there today. They obviously didn't think any of us knew English. My God, Eiri, they were saying some of the meanest things. They were calling us whores and Japs and talking about how much they wanted to rape us. So when I was up they were still saying things like this. They were calling me gay because of my hair. I'm gay, but they're in a gay strip bar!" Hiro yells.

Eiri hugs him and tells him to continue. "One of the men said he wondered if I had kids, and then said he'd love to fuck one of my babies. I couldn't take it! I jumped off stage and I hit him. So this big fight broke out and they were kicked out and I got fired."

Eiri is surprised and impressed. "So how was your day? Better than mine, I hope." Eiri sighs. "Shuichi and Suguru skipped their class after lunch to go to the church park and fuck. They got caught."

Hiro turns around stunned. "Shuichi did that?" Eiri nods. "That fucking kid is making him do this!" Hiro says. He's even more pissed than he had been earlier.

Eiri nods again. "I know. Do we let him stay, so that Shuichi learns better and leaves, or do we make him leave and risk not being able to keep a little control on the situation?"

Hiro sits down and sighs. "I don't know Eiri."

Lineline

A few hours later Shuichi comes down the stairs alone. "I'm going to walk to the store, if that's okay. I kind of just need some time to think, and we're out of q-tips." Eiri and Hiro nod their head and Shuichi heads out.

He walks to the store that is only about twenty minutes away. He doesn't know if he should even stay with Suguru anymore. He knows his mama and dad don't like having him around. Should they move out together? Should he get a divorce and stay with them while Suguru leaves?

He walks into the store and finds the q-tips. He stares blankly at the boxes until a voice knocks him back into reality. It is Seguichi-san.

"Are you okay Shuichi?" Shuichi nods, but it's not convincing. "Did Suguru give you that bruise?" Shuichi reaches up and touches his face, wince softly before nodding.

"Why did you marry him?" Seguichi-san asks. Shuichi shrugs. "I love him. He came over and said that you were sending him away because he was gay, and I didn't want to lose him."

Seguichi shakes his head. "I'm sure you've been told that I admire Eiri-san aesthetically."

Shuichi nods. He hadn't considered that. Seguichi pulls Shuichi into a hug. "I wasn't sending him away because he is gay." Seguichi lets go of him and walks away. Seguichi had been trying to help him? He grabs a box of q-tips and walks to the front to pay for them.


	6. Chapter 6

Just a quick note for the stupid: If you read my summary/ the introduction at the beginning of chapter one you will clearly see that I have stated that this is a EIri/ Hiroshi – Shuichi/Suguru story. I go on to explain that it is categorized as Shuichi, Eiri because they are the main characters. The story pertains mainly to them and uses Hiroshi (with Eiri) and Suguru (with Shuichi) as extensions of Eiri and Shuichi.

* * *

><p>He comes inside and nods a greeting at his mama. His dad is asleep on his lap. "Shu, do you want to talk?" Hiro asks quietly. Shuichi nods and Hiro slowly rises, placing Eiri's head on a pillow. They go outside and Hiro lights a cigarette. He offers one to Shuichi, but Shuichi declines.<p>

"What's up?" Hiro asks. Shuichi notes that he's in shorts, a t-shirt and has bare feet. His dad won't even leave the house when it's cold unless he had a scarf off. "I ran into Seguichi-san when I was at the store."

Hiro narrows his eyes. "He hugged me." Hiro raises an eyebrow at this and exhales a puff of smoke. "The night we got married, Suguru climbed in through my window. He told me that Seguichi was sending him to an all-boys school in France because he didn't want him to be gay."

Hiro doesn't comment. He knows that there's something wrong with that explanation. "Seguichi asked me why I married him, and I told him about that night. That's when he hugged me. He said he was attracted to dad, and that being gay wasn't the reason he was sending Seguichi away."

Shuichi sniffles and Hiro wraps his arms around him. "He knew Suguru was violent… He was trying to protect me, I think." Hiro pets Shuichi's hair. "Maybe you should consider ending this." Shuichi sniffles and nods, walking toward the door.

"I'm going to talk to him and think about it." Hiro smiles and walks in behind him.

* * *

><p>Shuichi walks up to his and Suguru's bedroom. He undresses and gets back into bed.<p>

"Shu, baby you're freezing. Come 'ere." Shuichi cuddles closer and Suguru uses his warm hands to rub his back. Shuichi relaxes quickly.

Suguru sighs. He knows that Shuichi is about to leave him. He doesn't know how to make him feel like this is worth it in the long run, because he isn't sure if it is, at least for Shuichi.

He kisses Shuichi and pushes the hair from his face. "So, should I pack my things?" Suguru asks softly. Shuichi looks up at him curiously. "I know you want to end it Shu. I would too, if I was married to me. I love you, but if that's what you really want, I'll go."

Shuichi hugs him tight. "Why did you tell me he was sending you away for being gay?" Suguru looks into his eyes. "You spoke with my father?" Suguru asks gruffly.

Shuichi nods. "I went to get q-tips and saw him at the store. He told me that that wasn't the reason." Suguru stops petting him. "He was sending me away. That's all that matters. I love you and didn't want to be away from you."

He begins petting Shuichi and again and tries to calm down. "I don't just want to end it. I love you… but I don't want to get hurt. I don't like the way you've been treating me." Suguru kisses him again. "I'm sorry Shu. Be patient with me, like I'm trying to be with you."

Shuichi feels terrible. He'd asked Suguru to be easy on him with sex, and he had, for the most part. It was Shuichi that was rushing and trying to change Suguru. "Okay, Sug. I'm sorry."

Suguru kisses him again. Shuichi kisses back. "You can take me… I'll work on being more… open, for you." Suguru grins and undresses Shuichi. He looks up, however, and notices that Shuichi has closed his eyes tight.

He doesn't want to stop, but he knows that if he doesn't do something, he will lose Shuichi. He kisses Shuichi's eyes and holds him. "I don't want you to force yourself. I can wait." Shuichi sniffles and cuddles close to him. He has decided; he will give Suguru another chance.

* * *

><p>Hiro wakes suddenly. He had been having the hottest dream… He turns to Eiri and shakes him. "What's wrong?" Eiri mumbles.<p>

"Eiri, I need sex, now." Eiri groans and turns over. "Please Eiri!" Eiri doesn't answer. "Fine. I'll do it myself."

Eiri is turned over and rolls his eyes until he hears Hiro gasp. He turns over and watches as Hiro slides a finger inside of his self while slowly sliding his hand up and down his member.

Eiri grows hard and leans over to kiss Hiro. "Ohh, did that get your attention?" Hiro asks snidely. Eiri gets on top of him and slides inside.

Hiro moans and pulls him close. "Oh Eiri! Hard! Hurt me Eiri!" Eiri pounds into his lover. They kiss as they both finish. Eiri lies down beside him and runs his fingers through his hair.

"Have you thought about getting a haircut?" Hiro lights a cigarettes and takes a long drag before passing it to Eiri.

"Why would I do that when I know that you secretly love it?" Eiri smiles and exhales. "I do." Hiro looks at him with a raised eyebrow and takes the cigarette back. "I didn't expect you to admit it, however."

Eiri kisses Hiro slowly and lazily. "I love you Hiro. I love everything about you." Hiro smiles back, tears in his eyes. "I love you too Eiri. So, so much."

Eiri grabs the cigarette from Hiro and put it out on the ashtray near their bed before engulfing Hiro in another kiss and another round of love making.

* * *

><p>Later that week the boys are at school. Its lunch and they had agreed to meet near the juice machines. Suguru waits for five minutes before becoming irritated and going to find him. He finds Shuichi in the hallway, leaning against the wall, walking animatedly to a teenage kid.<p>

He walks up and crosses his arms. Shuichi looks over with a bright smile. "This is K! He's new to school and he's part of the music group!" Suguru nods at K, who nods back at him.

"He's from America! Isn't that awesome?" K smiles. "Would you like me to bring some photos from America?" Shuichi hops up and down excitedly. "I would love it!"

Suguru grips his arm, fingernails digging in. "Say goodbye. It's lunch time." Shuichi frowns, wincing slightly. "I'll talk to you tomorrow. We can exchange information." He smiles politely. K frowns but says goodbye.

Suguru drags Shuichi away from sight and slams him against a wall. "So, that's your plan? Leave me and get with him?" Shuichi pushes Suguru's arm off of him. "Jesus Christ. We're just friends! You know how I feel about America. Why are you being like this?"

Suguru growls and punches Shuichi in the stomach. Shuichi begins to drop, the breath temporarily knocked out of him. Suguru holds him up and puts a hand around his neck. "If you leave me, I'll find you and kill you. Don't tell your new friend about this; don't tell your "parents" about it, just keep your fucking mouth shut."

Shuichi nods, he's holding his stomach. Suguru lets him go and drags him to the cafeteria. They sit opposite one another. Shuichi is wiping his eyes while Suguru eats silently. Shuichi pushes his food away, so Suguru eats it. "You're going to throw a fit? Fine, just for that- no dinner."

Shuichi glares at him. "It's not up to you when I eat." Suguru leans toward Shuichi. "I can make you hurt. I'm bigger, stronger, faster and smarter." He leans back to his side. "You're starting to get fat, anyways."

Shuichi isn't bothered until he hears the second part. He looks down- he had indeed put on a little weight. He looks back up and Suguru has finished eating and is packing up.

* * *

><p>Shuichi uses gym class to run laps. He wasn't sure if this was for him or Suguru, but he did not want to be fat. He runs almost the whole class period, but the end leaves his legs wobbly and his body shaky.<p>

After school is over, he's exhausted. He walks home beside Suguru, quiet and depressed. They come inside and are greeted by Hiro. "You kids hungry? I can make you some sandwiches!" He offers cheerfully.

Shuichi declines, though he doesn't want to. Suguru accepts however. Suguru sits next to him and holds the sandwich up to his mouth. "Take a bite babe, you didn't eat lunch." Shuichi takes a hesitant bite.

"I know what I said, but I was lying. You don't look any different than in middle school. I was just angry, so I said the meanest thing I could. I'm sorry. Please eat."

Shuichi accepts half of the sandwich and they eat in silence.

* * *

><p>Eiri comes home not too long after with a grim expression. "Shuichi, I need to talk to you," he says. Shuichi and Suguru exchange glances and he follows Eiri into his study.<p>

"They found your step-father," Eiri tells him bluntly. Shuichi is surprised. "They're going to use your taped testimony even though he admits to doing it. They may need you to step in, though." Shuichi nods. "Are you okay?" Shuichi has no tears. He feels nothing.

He simply nods. Eiri sighs. "How are things going with Suguru?" Shuichi shrugs. "It's getting better. I guess that's what being married is about, right?"

* * *

><p>Suguru is impatient to hear what Eiri told Shuichi, so he drags him to their room to talk. He isn't happy about what he hears. He holds Shuichi, petting him softly, though Shuichi does not cry.<p>

Shuichi was old enough, at this point, that even if his step-father was found innocent of all charges and given custody of Shuichi, Shuichi would be old enough to leave. Having to relive his past, though… Having other people hear it… it sickens Shuichi.

It is that night, the first night in many, which Shuichi wishes to die. Shuichi gets up from Suguru's sleeping grip and goes to the bathroom.

He opens the medicine cabinets to see if there is anything to alleviate some of his pain. He sees sleeping pills. He remembers Eiri telling him about the insomniac nights he spent writing his novels.

He opens the bottle and finds that there are several pills left. He pours them into his hand, about seven in all, and moves them around gently. One of these would knock him out, but all of these…

He looks at the mirror; he feels butterflies in his stomach. Someone knocks on the door, causing him to jump and drop the pills. "Yes?" He calls out hurriedly. "Is something wrong?" It's Suguru. He quickly picks the pills up and puts them away before opening the door.

"No, just needed to pee." Suguru kisses him softly. "Shuichi, you'll get through this. You made it through the abuse, now you just need to end it. Put him away where he can never do this again." Shuichi hugs his husband before beginning to sob.

Suguru rubs his back and watches as Eiri and Hiro enter the hallway. "What's wrong?" Hiro asks as Eiri eyes Suguru suspiciously. "He's not doing well with having to relive his past," Suguru answers softly. Both of them join the hug.

* * *

><p>Shuichi is on his knees, his hands gripping the headboard. He groans slightly and tries to relax himself for the thrusting intrusion. He feels like he's stretching, even though it's the same man inside of him every single day.<p>

His hands are tied together as well as being tied to the headboard. His ankles are in straps and spread apart. He bites down on the gag in his mouth at a particularly hard thrust.

He thought he had been done, but he was back. He was in his childhood house- in his dead mother's bed with his step-father behind him. Had Eiri and Hiro and Suguru just been a dream?

The whip wounds had stopped bleeding, but Shuichi still felt the sting. His and his step-father's sweat were mixing with the blood. His step-father had been particularly violent that night.

He feels the older man's hands wrap around his neck and he feels him continue to thrust. He tries getting away, but can't. It's only when he's at the brink of consciousness that it ends. He opens his eyes and sees that, even though the only thing he hears is his step-father chanting his name, about to release inside of him, it is Suguru that is raping him.

He sits up quickly and jumps out of bed, surprised that he can move. He checks his wrists and ankles for marks, but doesn't find any. He grabs his favorite stuffed animal and his pillow and locks himself in their closet to sleep. He wakes to his family calling for him. He unlocks the closet door and stumbles out, still clutching his teddy bear.

When Hiro and Eiri see him hold the bear, they understand. He'd had a flashback. Suguru doesn't understand the connection. "Fucking Christ Shuichi, where were you?" He asks, relieved to have found him.

"Sorry… I had a nightmare, so I slept in the closet." Suguru looks confused but doesn't comment.

* * *

><p>Everything runs smoothly for about another month. The trial had begun, and they were just ending Shuichi's recorded testimony. Suguru had been mild with Shuichi and Eiri and Hiro were still okay. Hiro was still unemployed.<p>

There is something growing inside of Shuichi, however. He dwells on the past. Sometimes lying in bed for hours thinking about what was done to him. It doesn't seem like it should have ever happened. He doesn't know how he didn't kill himself long ago.

It is on a night when both Eiri and Hiro is away, visiting Eiri's father in Kyoto that it comes out. Suguru and Shuichi crawl into bed and Shuichi looks down at his lap.

"I want you to rape me," he says quietly. Suguru doesn't quite know what to say. "Please…" Shuichi adds pathetically.

Suguru pushes Shuichi down onto his back roughly. "Pick a safety word. Something weird, so that when you say it I'll stop."

Shuichi shakes his head. "Then it wouldn't be real. Don't stop." Suguru loosens his grip. "I won't do it unless you pick a word, just in case it's too much."

Shuichi sighs. "How about purple?" Suguru shrugs and wills himself to remember it. "What do you want me to do?" He asks.

"Demean me… hurt me… Call me names, and take me like you don't care how I feel. Hit me… I want you to rape me." Shuichi answers. Suguru feels excitement bubble up in him. He feels bad… but he's always wanted to do this.

He grabs Shuichi by the hair and forces him down. He quickly undoes his pants and orders Shuichi to suck him.

Shuichi takes him into his mouth, and it feels great. Every other time Suguru has asked, Shuichi has said no. He grabs Shuichi's hair and thrusts violently into his mouth. He pulls him up before he finishes and waits a moment, incase Shuichi wants to quit. When he receives no response he quickly finishes himself on Shuichi's face.

He grows hard again quickly and throws Shuichi to the ground. "Do you like this you little whore?" Shuichi whimpers and Suguru rubs his face into the carpet. "You ugly, worthless pervert. You miss your daddy don't you? You wanna call me daddy Shu? I'll fuck you just like he did."

Shuichi is sobbing, but doesn't use the word. Suguru opens him and thrusts inside. Shuichi groans loudly and bites his lip until it bleeds.

"Call me daddy," Suguru demand before spanking Shuichi. Shuichi gasps and pants. "D… daddy…" Suguru moans and continues fucking his tiny lover. "You fat whore. You actually miss your daddy raping you. I bet you asked him for it. I bet you let your mommy help too."

Shuichi cries out. He begins begging Suguru to stop, but doesn't use the word. "Were you just a replacement for mommy? I guess no one really loves you, do they? You should have just killed yourself the other night and gotten it over with."

Suguru is surprised by how easily the insults are coming out. Shuichi screams, punching the floor with his weak fists. Suguru pulls out and lies down on the bed. "Ride me." He commands.

Shuichi slowly walks to him, looking down with an expression Suguru had never seen on his. A mix of innocence and something else… Shuichi slowly sits atop him and bounces his hips. "You love this, don't you baby. You love pleasuring your daddy." Suguru moans as he grips his lovers little hips. "Mm, you can be mommy." Shuichi tightens up and comes onto Suguru's chest.

Suguru grabs him by the hair and forces him to lick it up while he continues to fuck him. He pushes hard than he ever had, deeper than Shuichi had even taken him. Shuichi is crying "Purple! Please, purple!" Suguru doesn't stop though, he's so close.

He thrusts harder. "Shut up, daddy's about to come." Shuichi screams with every thrust until Suguru comes deep inside of him.

Shuichi falls to his side and curls up in pain. Suguru stays on his back, trying to breathe and recover from the most intense orgasm he had ever had.

Shuichi has huddled up to cry, his back turned to Suguru. "Baby, are you alright?" He asks. Shuichi doesn't answer.

Suguru runs a hand up his shaking form. He notices the blood from, what he assumes, is a tear from the rough sex.

"Baby, you tore. Come on, I need to clean you up." Shuichi doesn't answer. Suguru lifts him into his arms and carries him to the bathroom.

"Come on Shu; let's shower so I can fix you up." Shuichi slowly steps into the shower and winces when Suguru gets on his knees to clean and medicate his tears.

"You didn't stop," Shuichi says quietly. Suguru kisses his lower back and then up to his neck before wrapping his arms around the smaller man.

"I'm sorry babe, I was so close. This has been a fantasy of mine too. I'm sorry. I should have stopped." Shuichi turns around and allows Suguru to hold him while he cries.

Later on Suguru makes popcorn and puts Shuichi's comfort movie in. They cuddle on the couch- Shuichi finally smiling again. He cuddles Shuichi next to him and whispers sweet things to him. They finally fall asleep as the movie is ending.

* * *

><p>Eiri and Hiro are sitting at the table frowning when Shuichi wakes. "Shuichi, sit down."<p>

Shuichi sits nervously and looks at his parents. Eiri sighs. Hiro wipes his already red eyes. He could tell Hiro had been crying.

"Shuichi, we wanted to tell you before you found out anywhere else…" Hiro begins. Eiri places a hand on Shuichi's. "Your mom… She… She knew what he was doing to you." Hiro says. Shuichi is speechless.

"They found your step-father's journal; they searched his past texts and emails. Your mom found out about a year after they were married." Eiri explains.

Shuichi gets up from the table and walks upstairs to the bathroom. Eiri and Hiro follow closely. Shuichi grabs the bottle of sleeping pills and Eiri yells for him to stop. Hiro and Shuichi wrestle with the bottle with Hiro winning.

Shuichi wipes away his tears and runs for the window before Eiri grabs him into an encompassing hug. "Baby, we're sorry. We wish we could have gotten to you sooner. Before any of this happened."

Shuichi lays his head on Eiri's shoulder. "They want you to go in and testify. He's claiming that you instigated it and didn't tell him not to. You need to go in and explain." Shuichi nods. "Don't do this Shuichi. It'll be over soon and then you can start life over again."


	7. Chapter 7

Shuichi is walking through the halls the next day. Somewhat in a daze, not caring where he was headed. He runs into K. "Hey Shuichi. I didn't see you again… I was worried." Shuichi nods quietly. "I don't think your boyfriend likes me much. I would like to be friends, Shuichi."

Shuichi wipes his eye. "My husband. It doesn't matter… I'd like to be friends too." K smiles and hugs him tight. Shuichi returns the hug with a smile.

"Do you want to come to my house after school? I can show you some of my albums." Shuichi nods. "I'd love to. I'll let my parents know I won't be home."

They exchange numbers and Shuichi smiles. He has something to look forward to.

Eiri and Hiro don't mind him going over, but Suguru throws a fit. "You're a married man. You shouldn't be going to men's houses alone."

Shuichi is not going to cow tow this time. "If you don't trust me, then divorce me. I'm going to my _friend's _house to hang out with my _friend_."

Suguru doesn't talk to him anymore that day and he goes home with K.

* * *

><p>K's house is amazing! It is decorated very American. He meets K's mother and father and little brother. His mother struggles with Japanese more so than his father or him. Shuichi finds it to be endearing.<p>

He brings Shuichi to his room and pulls out three massive albums. They stay awake late into the night looking through pictures.

K explains that he had been something of a photographer for a while and had saved the result of his hobby. Shuichi is so entertained that the time slips by until it is almost midnight. He swears and jumps up, ready to run home.

"You can stay here tonight. I still have postcards and stuff I think you'd like." Shuichi grins and accepts. He calls Eiri and explains. Eiri accepts. He had met the family when they'd registered K into the school. They were a very nice, intelligent family. Eiri approved of this friendship highly.

He sent Suguru a text letting him know that he wouldn't be home until morning and that he loved him. He considered turning his phone off, but decided against it. Suguru never answers the text.

He stays awake late with K looking through mementos and pictures of American life. "You're telling me that American people get our lettering tattooed on them?" Shuichi asks with a laugh.

K is holding his aching belly. He'd laughed so hard that it hurt. "And most of the time, it is wrong!" They both laugh until they're crying. They decide to sleep and arrange the bedding. K insists that Shuichi, as the guest, sleep on the bed. He makes a bed in the floor and they say goodnight.

* * *

><p>In the morning K's mother makes them French toast. "Thank you, Mrs. Winchester." Shuichi says politely. "Yeah, thanks mom!" K says. She smiles and sits down with her own plate.<p>

"These are my Claude's favorite food. I figured you would probably like them as well." She says.

K groans when his mother uses his name. Shuichi smiles. "I've never had it before, but it looks delicious."

"Trust me, it is," K answers him with a full mouth. Shuichi taste a bite and moans at the taste. It is delicious!

"Is this a dish they don't make here?" She asks Shuichi. He swallows before answering. "I've heard of people making it, just no one that I've ever lived with."

She takes a small bite and smiles. "You seem awfully young to not live at home." It's almost a question and Shuichi knows it.

"My parents died when I was young." He answers. She apologizes, but he dismisses it. There was nothing to miss.

When breakfast is done Shuichi had only finished half a piece. Suguru had apologized and said he wasn't fat, but Shuichi had gained weight. He couldn't help but feel like there was even an ounce of truth in what Suguru had said. He takes the plates to the sink and begins washing them. Mrs. Winchester pulls him away with a smile. "You are our guest. The guest doesn't do chores, sweetheart."

Shuichi smiles and thanks her. "May I have the recipe for French toast? I want to make it for my husband."

Mrs. Winchester laughs a little. "I think you mean 'wife', dear." She assumes, since the entire conversation had been in English (for her sake) that he'd just chosen the wrong word.

"No, Shuichi is gay. He's married and everything, mom." K answers for him. She looks surprised.

"I'm terribly sorry Shuichi. I… I just assumed. Let me write down the recipe." She says and goes to find a pen and some paper. Shuichi feels embarrassed. What if she won't let him come back over now that she knows?

K puts an arm around his shoulders. "She won't care. She's not that type of person."

She comes back, all smiles, and hands him the recipe.

* * *

><p>It is soon time for Shuichi to leave. He says goodbye and heads back home.<p>

He'd checked his phone multiple times, testing it even, but Suguru hasn't responded.

He gets inside to find the house empty. Eiri and Hiro have apparently left to get groceries.

He walks up to his bedroom and opens the door. Only a few moments later he's knocked to the floor. Suguru is standing over him with a mean look on his face.

"Did you have fun, Shuichi? Did he fuck you better than I do?" Shuichi tries to answer, but Suguru kicks him in the ribs.

He lets out a painful gasp. "How long did you fuck? Was it before or after you sent me that text?" Suguru kicks him again.

"We didn't have sex!" Shuichi yells.

Suguru punches him in the face repeatedly until Shuichi is sobbing. He rips Shuichi's pants off and turns him around.

He shoves himself into Shuichi aggressively. "You feel loose you fucking whore." Shuichi screams and tries to get away one last time before submitting and whimpering.

The door swings open and K walks in. "Hey Shu, you left…" K takes in the scene before him and promptly grabs Suguru off of Shuichi. "What the fuck are you doing?" He yells at him.

Suguru throws a punch at K, but K grabs his fist and swings it around so that it's behind his back and pushes him against the wall.

Hiro and Eiri run into the bedroom and see Shuichi sobbing, half naked, on the floor and K holding Suguru against the wall. Shuichi's face is bruised and bleeding.

Hiro walks over to Suguru and throws a punch, but Eiri grabs him. "You son of a bitch! That's my baby, you stupid, worthless piece of shit!" Hiro yells. He shrugs Eiri off of him and wraps his arms around Shuichi.

Eiri grabs a blanket and gives it to Hiro to lay over Shuichi. He grabs Suguru's face and growls that he needs to leave and never return. K escorts him out before coming back and waiting by the door.

Shuichi is trembling but won't talk to them. Hiro goes to the door and tell K that he may come back. He sits next to Shuichi. He pulls him close and begins tell him a story about his life in America. Shuichi calms down by the time the story is over, but refuses to talk about Suguru.

* * *

><p>Shuichi is lying in bed alone. He had told his parent that he still wasn't sure if he wanted to get a divorce or not. He loved Suguru… it was just his jealousy, his rage… he just wanted Suguru to love him…<p>

He hadn't talked to him since then. It had been a week already. He still had a black eye and some bruising on his face. His split lip had mended and he was no longer torn. His limp was gone too.

Eiri said that Suguru was never allowed in the house again. He also said that he loved Shuichi, but if they got back together, they would have to do so out of his house. Shuichi wasn't sure if he was ready to move out yet or not.

He finally decides that he needs to see Suguru. He sends him a text and asks to meet up. Suguru agrees, so he gets dressed, leaves a note and walks to the park.

Suguru shows up around ten minutes later. It's started to snow now that they were in the middle of winter. Shuichi had one of Eiri's scarves on. Suguru waves shyly and sits next to him.

"I didn't have sex with him." Shuichi says, matter-of-factly. Suguru nods. "I know you didn't. I lied when I said you were loose. It was just, the thought of someone else having you drove me crazy Shu. I just love you so much."

Shuichi tries not to cry. "You raped me." Shuichi states bluntly. Suguru begins crying. "Baby, I'm sorry. I wish I could take it all back. I love you! You know that. I've missed you this whole week. I even got a place for us to live, together."

Shuichi raises an eyebrow. "You assume I'm going to stay with you?" Suguru shrugs and then nods. "You love me just as much as I love you. You're just smarter and more in control of your emotions. I need you Shuichi. You know I do. Please, stay with me. Come live with me. I trust you. I always will, and this will never happen again."

Shuichi wipes his eyes, not sure of what to do. "Shuichi, we're married. We can have our own place. We could even start a family. We can get a kitty first, and then maybe someday we can have children."

Shuichi smiles at this suggestion. "You want to have kids?" Suguru kisses his lips softly. "I only want them if you're there too."

Shuichi nods. "I'll go with you. I'll tell my parents tonight." Suguru hugs him tight. "Thank you Shu. I love you so much." Shuichi smiles, "I love you too…"

* * *

><p>Hiro and Eiri are not happy at all. The worst part is that Shuichi seems more determined to leave the more they discourage it.<p>

"I love you both. You're my mama and you are my daddy. But I think I need to do this. He's my husband." Shuichi explains. They sigh and hug him.

"If something happens, you can always call us. You will always have a place here." Eiri says. Hiro sniffles and wipes his tears. "We love you Shuichi. We just want to help." Shuichi hugs his mama close.

"I'll call and text and visit all the time. You'll be sick of me." They smile and watch as Shuichi gets into Suguru's car and leaves.

* * *

><p>They move all of Shuichi's things into the house. It only takes a few hours to unpack before they sit on the floor of the living room. They have very little furniture.<p>

"There are a few rules about living here Shu," Suguru says. Shuichi bites his lip. Now that he lived with Suguru, and just him, there was more of a chance of Suguru dictating his actions without intervention.

"We have to cease any loud noises or music at ten. Rent goes in on the first of each month. They would prefer that we don't run or stomp since there is an apartment below ours. Uhm, we can't hang anything over the edge of the railing outside. I think that's it."

Shuichi nods. Those sounded fairly typical. Suguru lies down with a groan. "We should probably save up to buy a bed." Shuichi cuddles next to him and hums in agreement.

Shuichi smirks and climbs on top of his boyfriend. He raises an eyebrow at Shuichi. Shu leans down to kiss him and rubs his hips against Suguru's. Suguru moans softly and pulls him closer.

"Want to shower with me?" He asks. Shu nods and they head to the shower, hand in hand.

* * *

><p>It is another one more week before they call Shuichi in for his testimony. He calls his parents and begs them to go with him.<p>

He sits in front of many people that he doesn't know. One side shows his parents. The other side has his step-father. He feels vomit rise in his throat, but swallows it down.

"Now, Shuichi, did you ever actually tell him not to touch you like that?" His step-father's lawyer asks. Shuichi takes a deep breath.

"I begged him not to do those things to me." The lawyer hums. "How do you claim it went on for so long, then? You claim it started at eight and didn't end until this year. And you are… Seventeen now?"

Shuichi clears his throat. "It ended when I was sixteen. I turned seventeen shortly after." The lawyer nods and writes something in his notebook.

"So, if he was molesting you, why didn't you go to anyone?" Shuichi wipes his eyes. "He said it would hurt my mother. He said he would kill me, and he would leave my mother and tell her it was my fault. I was eight, and all that mattered to me was that my mom loved me and was happy."

The lawyer writes again. "So, what about after your mother died? I'd like to note that she died when you were fourteen, right?" Shuichi affirms. "And she had known about it for two years at that point."

Shuichi feels tears fall down his face. "I didn't know she knew. I didn't learn that until this trial. I didn't tell anyone after she died because I didn't think it would help. I didn't know what to do and I was terrified of him."

The lawyer scratches at his chin. "So, what you're saying is, you didn't ask him to stop?" Shuichi is silent for a moment and then shakes his head. "It never worked before." The lawyer says he's done questioning.

His step-father is grinning at him. His lawyer comes up to the stand and hands him some tissues. "Shuichi, have you ever had feelings for your step-father of affection or attraction?" Shuichi shakes his head, but is prompted to answer vocally.

"Were you aware that he video-taped many of your… encounters?" Shuichi's jaw drops. "He… He did?" The lawyer frowns and hands him another tissue.

"Your mother loved them." His step-father yelled. The judge told him to refrain from speaking or he would be removed.

Shuichi begins rocking side to side, disgusted and trying not to cry. "No further questions." His lawyer says.

Shuichi steps out of the box and out of the courtroom with Hiro and Eiri right behind him. As soon as he's outside, he vomits into a trashcan. Eiri holds him up and Hiro holds his hair while rubbing his back.


	8. Chapter 8

Eiri and Hiro go to the court hearings, but Shuichi refuses. He listens to the recap from his parents when he goes to their house to visit.

"They showed one of the tapes…" Hiro says quietly. Shuichi looks up at his parents. "Which one?"

Hiro looks at Eiri. "You were… you were young. You were sucking him off at first. You were begging him to stop." Hiro is crying. Shuichi nods.

"So, do you think there is a good case against him?" Shuichi asks. "He admits to it. He says he was raping you, but his defense is that you asked for it."

Shuichi huffs. "Yeah, eight year olds are all clamoring for parental rape." Hiro and Eiri lay their hands on his shoulders.

* * *

><p>He goes home and tells Suguru about it. "They showed a video of him molesting me and me begging for him to stop." Suguru grimaces. "I don't want to hear about it."<p>

Shuichi sighs. They still hadn't bought any furniture. "I don't know how I'm supposed to feel with that many people seeing that happen to me."

Suguru gets up and leaves the room. Shuichi follows. "Goddamn it Suguru, I need to talk to someone and you're my husband. You're supposed to be here for me!" Suguru turns and pushes him to the ground.

"I don't want to hear the disgusting facts about your past. Why don't you go talk to anyone else?" Shuichi doesn't even answer. He turns and walks away. As soon as he's a block away he calls his only other friend- K.

"Of course you can come over. Do you want me to come get you?" Shuichi tells him where he's at and sits on the side of the road waiting. Suguru's car pulls up and he gets out.

"Shuichi, I'm sorry. Get in the car, please?" Shuichi doesn't move. Suguru walks over to him. "Baby, I want to be here for you, it's just hard for me to hear about those things. Knowing that people do that to children is hard enough without knowing that it happened to the love of my life."

Shuichi doesn't respond. He's sick of the kind words that follow his harsh treatment. K pulls up and quickly steps out of his car. Shuichi gets up and dusts his ass off before walking toward him.

Suguru grabs Shuichi but K grabs his arm and tells him to release him. He lets Shuichi go. Once he is safely buckled in the car K allows Suguru to pull out of his grasp. He gets into the car and speeds home.

He grabs some soda and brings Shuichi up to his room. "What's wrong Shu?" Shuichi takes a long drink and sighs. "You don't want to know. It's just been a hard… life."

K sits closer and wraps an arm around him. "We're friends. That's what friends are for." Shuichi leans his head on K's shoulder. "I've been in court. I had to testify against my step-father because he raped me from the time I was eight until just a few months ago."

K gasps and tightens his grip. "I'm so sorry." Shu nods. "I found out that my mom not only knew about it, but liked it and that there were video tapes. They showed the whole court room, including my mama and dad that took me in. It was of me when I was just a kid sucking him off and begging for him not to touch me."

K has tears in his eyes. "How do you feel… knowing that everyone has seen that?" Shuichi shakes his head, knowing that as soon as he opens his mouth he's just going to sob.

K's mother walks in and immediately drops down. "What's wrong?" She asks in fractured Japanese.

K pets him softly. "He needed a friend to talk to. It's been a long life."

Shuichi sniffles and looks up at her. "Thank you for caring, Mrs. Winchester. I'm sorry for intruding, but I didn't know whom else I could talk to."

She pets him softly and tells him that he's always welcome at the house. She leaves the room to order some pizza for everyone.

* * *

><p>They eat dinner together, Shuichi finally smiling and laughing a bit. K's father is home from work and eating with them. "I hear you're already married, Shuichi." He says. Shuichi nods.<p>

"How long have you been married?" Shuichi sits up straight. "Only a few months, sir." K's father laughs. "I'm Mr. Winchester, or I'm Daryl. I'm not 'sir'." Shuichi smiles slightly.

"I will say Mr. Winchester. Thank you." Shuichi sends a quick text telling Suguru he will not be coming home tonight before turning his phone off.

They decide to play a game together since they were all home. They were in the middle of it, still somewhat of a tie, when there is a knock on the door. It's already quite late so Mr. Winchester gets up to answer it.

They disregard it, for the most part, until they hear Suguru yelling for Shuichi.

"I need to see Shuichi right now!" He yells at Mr. Winchester. "Who are you?" He asks. Shuichi appears behind him.

Suguru sneers. "That queer is my wife." Shuichi blushes with embarrassment. "Suguru, stop. What do you want?" Mr. Winchester looks rather confused. Suguru loses his smile and grabs Shuichi, causing him to fall on his face.

"You're coming home." Mr. Winchester helps Shuichi up. He's crying a little. "I told you I'd be home tomorrow." Mr. Winchester looks at Shuichi. "This is who you're married to?"

Shuichi nods without looking at him. Suguru grabs Shuichi by the hair and begins to pull him toward the car. Mr. Winchester and K grab Suguru and get him off of Shuichi.

K holds Shuichi and takes him into the house while Mr. Winchester gets him off of the property. "Should we call the police?" Mrs. Winchester asks.

Shuichi shakes his head. "It's okay, he's just a little upset. It'll be worse if I call the police." Mr. Winchester is frowning.

"Shuichi that is abuse. He has no right to treat you like that, husband or not." Shuichi wipes his eyes.

"He's not always like that…" K sighs. "No one can help you until you help yourself. Just… I hope that time comes soon, before he kills you."

That thought startles Shuichi. What if he does? Would he get away with it, since there is no real record of Suguru beating him?

"I think I should get home. He's going to be more upset if I don't." Shuichi says softly. They try to stop him but he shakes his head. "He is my husband. I need to return home now, but thank you all."

* * *

><p>Shuichi walks home and enters the house slowly. Suguru is sitting on the floor staring at the door.<p>

"I didn't know whether to expect you or not." He gets up and walks toward Shuichi.

Shuichi walks backwards slowly until his back is against the door. "We were playing a board game. I needed someone to talk to and you didn't want to talk."

Suguru stops right in front of Shuichi's face. "His family has taken a quick liking to you, haven't they?"

Shuichi shrugs. "They think you're going to be his wife, right? You're cute." He grabs Shuichi and throws him down. He quickly sits on his chest and wraps his arm around Shuichi's throat.

"You're sweet, and thin. Girly. Maybe faggy is the word I'm looking for? Yes, they assume you'd make a great wife."

Shuichi is clawing desperately at his hands. He can't breathe and he's scared that this is going to be the end.

"They should talk to your current husband. I could tell them how worthless you are." He lets go of Shuichi and watches him gasp for breathe.

He gets off of Shuichi and paces. Shuichi doesn't move. He's afraid of somehow inciting more anger from his husband.

Suguru stops pacing and undoes his pants. "Blow me Shuichi. Right now."

Shuichi gets up slowly and takes him into his mouth. He hates this. He hates this even more than being on top.

Suguru finishes in his mouth and doesn't let Shuichi go until he's swallowed.

He begins walking toward their bedroom. "There are dishes in the sink. I expect the floor to be swept and mopped before you come to bed."

He retreats to the bedroom and Shuichi walks into the kitchen. He does the dishes, sweeps and mops. It's nearly three in the morning before he's done.

He lies down in the living room floor with his teddy bear and goes to sleep.

* * *

><p>He wakes up in their make-shift bed. There is a note on the wall beside him telling him to take it easy and rest.<p>

He gets up and goes to find Suguru. He's in the kitchen making food. He turns around and sees Shuichi. He quickly runs to him to hug him.

Shuichi flinches away but relaxes for a moment in the embrace.

"Shuichi, I made a complete ass of myself last night, and I know I embarrassed you, and I'm sorry. I love you so much, you know how jealous I get. I didn't mean to be like that Shu."

Shuichi leans against his husband's strong form. "How many times will I forgive you before you beat me to death? Or before you choke me and don't stop in time?"

Suguru kisses his head and hugs him tight.

"It won't come to that Shu. I love you." Shuichi gets out of his embrace and shakes his head. "This is not the life that I want to live. I don't want to be scared of my husband beating me to death. I want to be able to be my own person without you stalking my friends and pulling me out of houses by my hair."

"Shu, it won't come to that…" Suguru says. Shuichi turns around and yells at him. "It already has! Do you not remember last night?"

Suguru slaps Shuichi and then curses. "Shu, I'm sorry. I just don't like it when you talk to me like that."

Shuichi grabs his wallet and walks toward the door, but Suguru grabs him into an embrace.

"Don't leave Shu. Come on, I made you breakfast. Please, just come eat." He all but drags Shuichi to the kitchen and hands him a plate of his favorite breakfast foods.

Shuichi sighs and eats them slowly. Suguru looks remorseful and doesn't look at Shuichi.

"Are you really sorry?" Shuichi asks. Suguru nods.

"Next time you hit me, I'm going to call the police and end this." Suguru nods and hugs him tight.

* * *

><p>Suguru is extra nice to him. At night, when they lie on their almost-bed Suguru offers to massage Shuichi's aching back.<p>

Shuichi falls asleep to his touch.

The next day they wake for classes, but neither wants to go.

"My dad would kill me if I stopped going," Shu says. Suguru had hinted to wanting to quit school. He sighs at Shuichi's persistence.

"I'm going to get a job and quit. You need to do something to help out around here too."

Shuichi stretches with a groan. "What if I do all the cooking and cleaning?" He asks. Suguru runs a hand down his hip. "I guess."

Shuichi inches away from him, not being in the mood. Suguru kisses his shoulder softly. "What exactly did he do to leave these scars on your back?"

Shuichi closes his eyes again. "He used a whip." Suguru kisses the scars softly. "Was it a punishment, or did he just like to?" Shuichi shivers involuntarily. "Mostly just that he liked it."

"And the ones on your wrists and ankles are from straps, aren't they?" Shuichi nods. They weren't as easy to see as the ones of his back, but Suguru had seen all of him.

Suguru runs his palm over Shuichi's ass and to his thigh. "What about this one?" Shuichi has on oddly placed, long scar inside of his thigh that he'd never explain.

Shuichi holds his teddy bear close. "He, uh… he raped me with a knife. The handle-y part. The knife accidently cut me, though."

Suguru is speechless. He moves down and kisses the scar. Shuichi gasps softly as Suguru kisses up to his hardening member.

Suguru takes him into his mouth and allows him to finish there, too. Shuichi misses his first period class, but ultimately makes it to school. Suguru gets dressed and goes job hunting.

He is parked in front of the school to pick Shuichi home. Shuichi runs to his car and kisses him. "How'd it go?"

Suguru smiles. "I found a job." Shuichi is excited and congratulates him. "Where?" Suguru begins driving.

"They needed a body guard at that gay strip club." Shuichi's eyes widen. "They hired you? Aren't you too young?"

Suguru nods. "I have my ways, babe." Shuichi doesn't even care. All that matters is that he had a job now and everything was going to be alright.

They get home and Shuichi goes to the kitchen to make some lunch. Suguru bends him over the counter and nibbles his ear.

"Suguru, I'm not really in the mood right now," Shuichi says. Suguru stops biting him and walks away. Shuichi sighs and goes to follow him, but a knock on the door prevents it.

He opens the door to find that his mama and dad and standing there with bags of groceries in their hands.

He lets them him and hugs them. "Where is Suguru?" Hiro asks while putting away the refrigerator stuff. Shuichi shrugs and takes a spoonful of peanut butter out of the jar to eat it.

"I think he's in our bedroom. I was kind of hungry." Hiro and Eiri look around a bit. "You don't have any furniture?" They ask. Shuichi shakes his head; he's embarrassed of being so worthless as to not have been able to afford any.

Eiri frowns. "We can get you some. A bed and a couch, at least."

"That's not necessary," Suguru says from behind them. He's frowning at his in-laws. "This is our house. I have a job. It's our responsibility and we'll fix it."

Shuichi sighs. "We can pay you back…" Shuichi says to Eiri and Hiro. Suguru grabs his husband's arm and asks Hiro and Eiri to excuse them while they talk.

He drags Shuichi into the next room. "Goddamn it Shuichi, I said no. Don't contradict me. I'm the man of this house. Don't think I'll go easy on you just because they're visiting." Shuichi nods.

They walk back into the kitchen to face his parent's extremely worried faces. "We can handle it daddy… but thank you both for offering."

Their visit is short and tense. Shuichi waves to them as they drive away and then reenter the house carefully.

"Sug?" He asks softly. Suguru hugs him. "Babe, you know I love you. I'm not trying to be mean, but I hate feeling indebted. Just let me take care of this okay?" Shuichi nods in his chest.

* * *

><p>It is only a month later that things begin to turn for the worse. Shuichi was on edge constantly because it was finals time at school and because the trial with his step-father. They had gone through everything and were now on the third week of jury deliberation.<p>

They had finally been able to buy a bed. They bought a used frame but agreed that a new mattress was necessary.

This proved to make Shuichi feel better but he still hadn't been in the mood for much intimate contact. Suguru held firm to the belief that, if he was out all day working, Shuichi should give him whatever it was that he wanted.

This caused them to argue a lot. Finally, Shuichi just ignored him. He felt the same numb he had felt with his step-father.

If Sug wanted sex, he would just lie there and take it. When Sug got mad, he allowed him to yell and hit without saying anything.

Shu stopped going to school and stopped talking his his family and friend. He just cleans the house and sits quietly. Suguru wants him to stop, but so far force isn't working.

All he has to show for it is a satiated libido and a husband with a black eye and split lip. He comes into the bedroom late and finds Shuichi lying in bed quietly. He knows he isn't asleep because Shu looks peaceful when he's asleep.

He gets on the bed and kisses his husband with very little response. "Shuichi, tell me what I can do to make you less miserable." Suguru begs. Eiri and Hiro had already cornered him and gotten into a yelling match over his treatment of Shu.

K had come over looking for him, but Suguru hadn't even opened the door.

Shuichi doesn't answer. Suguru begins massaging him, remember that the last time Shuichi seemed happy was when Suguru had given him a massage.

Shuichi relaxes under his touch, so he continues and massages Shuichi's whole body. Not even stopping when Shuichi has fallen asleep.

He cuddles next to Shuichi weak body and weeps. Had he gone too far? Would he ever get his Shuichi back?

* * *

><p>Eiri was worried. Shuichi had been in, what he would almost consider to be a catatonic state for the last week. He wasn't even defending himself from Suguru anymore, and Suguru was definitely using this to his advantage.<p>

They were still waiting for a response from the jury. Shuichi hadn't said anything about it at all.

Hiro was also becoming a problem. Being home and unemployed had been fine for a little while, but now Hiro was beginning to get depressed.

Eiri had never realized what stripping meant to him. It was a reason to leave the house, a reason to take care of his self, a reason to dress up, a way to contribute.

Now, he slept all day and wasn't in the mood for sex or conversation. He didn't smile anymore or play guitar. He decides that he needs to do something.

He goes to the place that he used to work, but they refuse to take him back. He decides that, if Hiro enjoy it that much, he will try at the new place a few more blocks away.

They are skeptical to hire someone just because their boyfriend comes in, but he begs them to call Hiro and ask him to come in. They seem intrigued, especially (must to Eiri's dismay) when he shows them a photo of Hiro.

He goes home to find Hiro smirking at him, one eyebrow raised. "You're trying to get me a job?"

Eiri scratches his neck. "I think I understand what it meant to you. I just wanted to… help." Hiro gets up and kisses him.

You have no idea how much this means to me Eiri. I love you." Eiri smiles in return.

* * *

><p>Shuichi eventually drops out of school. He has lost all desire to go anymore. Suguru is not happy, but doesn't tell him that he has to go back.<p>

He locks the door and shuts his phone off so that his dad can't call him and yell at him. Suguru doesn't even ask for sex anymore. Shuichi assumes he's getting some from one of the strippers until Suguru comes home with a proposition.

"Shuichi, we're short a few performers. Would you consider stripping for us?" Shuichi feels the emotion inside him; finally feels something again. He looks at Suguru and, as hard as he can, slams his fists into his face.

Suguru isn't expecting it and it takes him a moment to get Shuichi into a submissive position. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Shuichi glares at him despite his compromised position.

"What do I look like to you? Have I ever made it seem like I want to undress for strangers?" Suguru sighs. "Your mama is a stripper, so you better be careful with you say about them."

Suguru releases him. "That's okay. You're probably too ugly to be a stripper anyways," he says as he walks away. Shuichi weeps for the first time in many weeks.

He tries to turn his phone on, but he hadn't plugged in it in days and it was dead. It was dead. Shuichi takes a shuddering breath in and tries to calm down.

He slowly walks to the closet that holds their household items and grabs the length of rope they had put away. He then walks into their bedroom and turns his computer on so that he can begin his playlist.

He stands on a chair and ties the rope as tight as he can to one of the boards that are connected to the ceiling. He ties a noose, something his step-father had taught him, and puts it over his head and around his neck. He takes a deep breath and waits for his favorite part of the song before shoving the chair out from under him and effectively attempting to hang himself.

* * *

><p>Hiroshi is sitting on Eiri's lap on their couch. He's sobbing harder than he can remember sobbing before. The jury had come back with a verdict of guilty, but he had only been sentenced to a max of two years. Neither thought that was fair. He had killed almost nine years of Shuichi's life so far.<p>

They didn't want to have to tell Shuichi the bad news, but they thought that hearing news like this should be from his parents.

Eiri kisses Hiro and shushes him. "We need to go tell Shuichi. We need to be strong for him." Hiro wipes his face and nods at his lover. He excuses himself to use the bathroom to wash his face so that they can get ready to go.


	9. Chapter 9

Eiri drives to Shuichi's apartment and knocks on the door, but isn't answered. He knows Shuichi is home because he asked Suguru and because he knew that Shuichi hadn't left their home in quite a while.

He uses the key Shuichi left with them, only having knocked out of courtesy, and lets himself inside. Hiro heads to the bedroom to wake Shuichi while Eiri takes the food out of the bags they brought and prepares to make lunch.

Hiro screams and Eiri drops everything to run to him. Hiro is standing on a chair holding Shuichi's body close to his own and pulling a rope from around his neck. Eiri isn't at all sure how Hiro held him, especially while balancing on the chair, but he felt as if he couldn't move for a moment.

He suddenly leaps forward and plucks Shuichi from Hiro's arms and lays him on the bed. Hiro rushes over and lays his head on his chest. There is no movement, no breathing, and no heartbeat. Shuichi is dead.

Hiro begins giving him mouth to mouth. Eiri stands back and calls for help. Hiro can faintly hear him in his efforts to save Shuichi. "I need help. My son hung himself..."

Lineline

Suguru is sitting in the back room on his break at work. One of the strippers that he knows well sits next to him and lays his legs on Suguru's lap.

"How's work, handsome?" Suguru runs his hand up the other man's legs."I can't complain. I get free drinks, free food and free shows."

The other man smirks. "I'm on next. Are you going to be watching?" Suguru smiles back. "I wouldn't miss it."

The other man stands up and leans close to Suguru's lips, but doesn't touch them. "I'll be sure to do an especially…" He licks Suguru's lips softly before continuing, "fantastic performance."

Suguru grabs the man, pulling him close, and bites right on his collar bone. The other man gasps softly and begins to pant. "You'd better." Suguru says when he releases him.

The other man is flushed; a dazed somewhat-smile graces his face. He walks towards the dressing rooms with his hips swinging enticingly.

He takes some deep breaths to try to calm his self down. That other man, Ryuichi was it? He was something else.

Suguru's pants begin to vibrate and he glances at his phone. It's his father-in-law. He ends the call to send it to voicemail. He doesn't feel like being lectured. He doesn't feel like being a husband right now.

It was difficult dealing with Shuichi's attitude lately. It was especially hard to remain a faithful man when people like Ryuichi were willing to be what Shuichi wasn't- whole, functional, passionate lovers.

His phone alerts him that Eiri-sama has left a voicemail. He puts the phone to his ear and listens. "Suguru, this is Eiri. Shuichi is in the hospital, and he might not make it. He was dead when they got to your house." He proceeds to leave the hospital information, but Suguru doesn't take any of it.

The phone falls to his side, his arms are limp. His husband had been dead? Was he still dead? The last thing he had said to him was that he wasn't good enough to be a stripper.

Tears begin to fall down Suguru's face. He loved his husband. He really did. He would be the first to admit that his husband could get on his nerves. He had often raised his fist to him even, but he loved him.

He wasn't even sure why he had so easily taken his husband's love and trust for granted. He knew he loved him greatly, and so for some reason he had no qualms about hitting him. Shuichi was a part of him, so it didn't matter.

This just threw everything into perspective. How did he die? His first thought is the time he had caught Shuichi trying to swallow pills and kill himself.

He takes a deep breath in and wipes his eyes. He notices his boss, on his knees, right in his face looking very concerned.

"Are you okay Suguru-san?" Suguru laughs hollowly and shakes his head while rising to his unsteady feet.

"My husband died. I need to go to the hospital." Suguru leaves before he can be denied, or given permission for that matter.

He gets into his car and drives to the hospital on autopilot. When he gets to the hospital the attending nurse asks him which room Shuichi is in. He has to replay the voicemail for her twice before she understands everything Eiri has said and sends him to his husband's bedside.

Lineline

Eiri is biting his nails. They were already bleeding, but his body didn't register the pain. Hiro is sitting in the chair closest to Shuichi, one of his hands is holding one of Shuichi's and he's using the other hand to suck his thumb while he rocks from side to side.

Suguru comes in calmly. Hiro doesn't look at him but Eiri does. He can tell that Suguru is not only devastated but regretful.

Shuichi is barely alive. They're unsure at this point whether he will suffer any permanent brain damage from being deprived of oxygen for so long. The doctor had been sure, however, that if Hiro and Eiri hadn't found him as soon as they had that there would have been no chance of getting him back.

He was in a coma; his body was not responsive to any sound or touch. The doctors didn't know how long this would last or if he would even make it through the night.

Suguru leans close to Shuichi face and kisses his lips softly. They're dry and chapping. He moves Shuichi's hair to be behind his ears. It is then that he notices the rope burn on Shuichi's throat.

He uses a finger to trace the wound slightly and a new set of tears escape him. "It's my fault Eiri-san. This whole thing is my fault. I knew I was hurting him and I knew that he wasn't handling it well, but I didn't stop."

Hiro lays his head down on Shuichi's hand and closes his eyes. If his baby didn't make it… Hiro wasn't sure he wanted to keep living either.

Eiri has stopped chewing his nails by this point and instead keeping his hands busy by picking yarn strands out of one of his scarves.

Suguru sits on the opposite side of Shuichi than his in-laws and runs his fingers through Shuichi's hair.

Lineline

The doctors come in throughout the night but Shuichi never stirs. They say that his vitals are fine and that he should pull through. None of them leave his side.

The day passes and Shuichi does not wake. Suguru asks for a brush and some soft cloths so that he can clean Shuichi. The nurses bring him some water and a sponge and allow him to wash Shuichi carefully.

Hiro is asleep in his chair, his head on Shuichi's bed. Eiri is sitting silently, laptop in sleep mode on his lap due to not being used. He is watching Suguru in his peripheral vision. Suguru sits down again and begins brushing Shuichi's damp hair.

"Do you know what I was doing when he was hanging himself?" Eiri doesn't respond. He's not sure if Suguru is using this as a moment when he can get this off his chest or if he really wants a conversation. He also isn't sure if he even wants to know.

Suguru wipes his eyes and begins brushing Shuichi's hair again. "I was hitting on one of the dancers. He came onto me first, and it made me feel like I was worth something." Eiri doesn't say anything to him. He doesn't know what to say.

Suguru begins sobbing and Eiri fights the urge to comfort him. It was his fault that his son had tried, and almost succeeded in killing himself. Quite frankly, he was lucky that Eiri even allowed him to be in the same room as Shuichi. He was lucky that he had even called him.

Hiro is awake now. His eyes are open slightly. To the untrained eye he would appear to be sleepy, but Eiri knew better. This was the look that Hiro had when he was at his absolute lowest. Eiri was certain that if Shuichi didn't make it, he would have to all but babysit Hiro to make sure that he too didn't follow.

Hiro kisses Shuichi's hand, completely ignoring his son-in-law. "Mm?" Shuichi mumbles. They all look up in surprise. Shuichi's eyes are blinking slowly. Hiro looks into his eyes and smiles, tears flow down his cheeks.

"Hey baby, don't try to speak. There's a tube in your throat. Are you okay?" Hiro asks softly. Shuichi squeezes his hand and nods. He moves one of his hands up to touch his own throat before beginning to cry.

Suguru had left once he'd seen that Shuichi was okay to get a doctor to come and look Shuichi over. The doctor enters the room with him and they notice that he's crying.

"You're okay Shuichi. You were dead for a few minutes, but your uh, momma found you and saved you. He had you breathing by the time that the paramedics got there." Shuichi looks at his mother and father.

He tries to smile but it comes out as something a little less than a frown.

The doctor takes them all out of his room and begins to explain their findings. "He should be fine. We're obviously worried about after-care and suggest that you see a different doctor- a psychiatrist to deal with his depression." Hiro and Suguru nod at the doctor while Eiri simply listens.

"Depending on his emotional state, we may even suggest that you have him committed so that he can be more carefully and constantly monitored."

Hiro gasps. "You're not locking my baby up. I'll stay with him all day and all night if I have to." Suguru grits his teeth. "I'm his husband, so legally it's my choice. If he's still suicidal he needs to be locked up where they can help him."

Hiro glares at Suguru and Eiri knows that this is about to turn into a bad fight, and that they will all be kicked out if it isn't stopped. He grabs Hiro's arms and begins to drag him toward Shuichi's room while Hiro is yelling at Suguru.

"It's your fault that this happened in the first place! You don't give a shit about him, so why take him from me?"

Eiri gets Hiro into the room and hugs him tight. "Calm down baby. Calm down. Shuichi is awake and we need to be there for him instead of mad at Suguru."

Hiro nods in understanding and walks toward the bed while Eiri leaves the room to listen to what else the doctor had to say.

Hiro's eyes still have tears in them. "Hi baby," he says softly. Shuichi is looking at him sadly. The tube in his throat had been replaced with a simple oxygen line to aid in the support of air.

"Are you the one that saved me?" Shuichi asks with a scratchy throat. Hiro nods and steps closer to the bed. Shuichi glares, though it is not as intimidating as he had set to make it.

"Get out of my room." Hiro is heartbroken. "Shuichi?"

Shuichi growls. "Get out! I hate you and I don't want to see you again! Ever! Just get out!"

Hiro turns and leaves as Eiri is walking in, having overheard the yelling from his position by the door. Hiro doesn't stop to talk to him and Eiri knows that, at the moment, he needs to talk to Shuichi. He can deal with Hiro as soon as he's done.

"Shuichi?" He asks softly, because he wants to be angry but deep inside he's just curious and sad. "Why did you kick your mama out?"

Shuichi isn't crying. He's licking his lips, but it doesn't help much. "I wanted to die. It wasn't fair of him to save me. And I hate him for that."

Eiri sighs and sits next to his son. "Shuichi, he saved you because we love you. Do you know how scared we were? We've been waiting beside your bed the whole time; feeling guilty and hopeless because we didn't know if you would make it and didn't know what else we could have done to prevent it."

Shuichi clenches his jaw but doesn't answer. Eiri continues talking.

"The doctor said that your voice isn't going to be the same. There was damage to the tissue inside, so it will be softer than it used to be. The rope cut into your neck a little and you're going to have a scar there."

At this point Shuichi begins to finger the injury on his neck. "They are going to send you to a psychiatrist and probably put you on depression medication. They may even lock you in a ward for twenty-four hour surveillance."

At this Shuichi looks over. "Don't let them lock me up." Shuichi looks scared. Eiri pets the young man's hair.

"Suguru wants to let them. Hiro said he was take responsibility of watching over you because he doesn't want you to be sent away. Shuichi, we love you. We only want to do what's best for you; what's going to help you."

Shuichi blinks away tears. "Tell mama… I'm sorry. But I still don't want to see him." Eiri stands and kisses his son's forehead before leaving.

Lineline

Hiro has walked the entire way home. He lets himself in and goes up to what used to be Shuichi's bedroom. They hadn't moved or changed anything. He lies down in Shuichi's bed and sobs.

He looks over at the night stand that Shuichi had left. There is a picture of the four of them from Shuichi's birthday. He grabs the picture and holds it close to him.

Lineline

When Eiri gets home Hiro is sniveling in what used to be Shuichi's bed. Eiri sits on the edge of the bed and runs a hand on his back. "Honey, Shu is just upset. He said he's sorry," Eiri says softly. Hiro doesn't say anything. "He doesn't want to be put under surveillance," Eiri tells Hiro.

Hiro grabs one of his hands and squeezes it. "Maybe it would be for the best. It would give him time to think about what he wants to do now. Whether he even wants to stay with Suguru and whether or not he wants to be around us."

Hiro wipes his eyes and turns over to look at Eiri. "I got attached to him, Eiri. I love him, and it feels like my heart is being ripped out." Eiri holds his boyfriend close and lets him cry. The truth was that he'd gotten attached too. He had told himself that they were just going to help him and then be friends or something. His goal had been no to get attached.

"Maybe we can adopt a baby. We did well when we were helping Shuichi. We could give another baby a nice home to grow in," Eiri says. Hiro shakes his head. "I don't ever want to go through this again. I don't want to ever lose something that I love so much again. Kids go missing and die and get taken back and leave eventually. I can't do it again," Hiro says softly.

Hiro sniffles. "I don't want to get married anymore. I just… I don't want to be together anymore, because if you leave me, I'll never get over it. I just want to go be on my own for a while." Eiri holds him tighter. "Don't push me out baby. Don't do this. My son left too, Hiro, and I'm hurting. I don't want to lose my lover too."

Hiro holds onto him tight. "Did we mess up? Was it something I did?" Eiri kisses him. "He's depressed. He's had a hard life. Let him get well and I know he will come back."


	10. Chapter 10

"If I let you come home, how are you going to act? Am I going to have to babysit you?" Shuichi doesn't answer. "I want my husband. I want to have conversations and go to work without worrying and I want to have sex," he says.

Shuichi looks over at him. "I just don't want to be in here," Shuichi answers. Suguru kisses Shuichi and Shuichi pushes him away. "I want a divorce," Shuichi tells him. Suguru freezes. "What?" Suguru asks. Shuichi looks away. "I'm done living this life, Sug. There are things out there I want to do and I can't do them like this."

Suguru glares. "You want a divorce? Fine, fucking fine. We'll get a divorce whenever they let you out of the psych ward," he says. Shuichi looks at him. "You're going to lock me up because I want to get a divorce?"

Suguru turns around and walks out. Shuichi gets up and tries to leave but the wires are still attached to him. He begins taking them out and a nurse comes in only moments later. "Mr. Shindou, you need to lie back down." The nurse says.

Shuichi sits down and begins crying. "Please, I don't want to be locked up. My husband is going to let them keep me because I told him I wanted a divorce," Shuichi tells her. She frowns and sticks the tubes back on him.

lineline

Shuichi wakes and looks around groggily. His head is spinning and he can't move. There's no one around him. No people. No objects. No color. He begins to hyperventilate. Where did everything go?

A nurse runs in and injects with with something before petting him. "You're alright sugar. You're in the county psych ward. You're alright," she says as he falls asleep again.

He doesn't like waking up from the sleeping drugs. It makes his head lag and his eyes heavy. He's being poked by a doctor who is talking to an orderly behind him. "This one is said to have been violent, but I wouldn't have guessed by looking at him," the doctor jokes.

Shuichi stares wide eyes. He's tied to the bed. "Please, let me out...' He says to the men. The doctor looks at him and smiles. "Shindo, you've decided to join us!" He says happily. Shuichi is already crying.

"I don't want to be here. My husband only made me come here because I asked for a divorce." The doctor frowns. "You have a fresh rope burns around your neck, One of the things you'll learn here is how to not blame others," he says before leaving.

Shuichi is spread on the bed. He feels insecure and hopeless. He stays there all night without visitation, without food or water, without a break to use the bathroom. He's completely immobile.

When the nurse comes in to check on him in the morning his lips are chapped. "Can I have a drink of water?" He asks. She shakes her head. "I can't untie you. You'll have to wait a few more hours until the doctor comes in."

Shuichi waits on the bed, wondering if there was any way to end his life here. The doctor comes in when the sun is shining more brightly. "Good morning Shindou. How do you feel?" Shuichi opens his eyes. "Thirsty..." He says.

The doctor smiles. "That's to be expected. You slept so much last night that we couldn't give you anything to eat or drink!" The doctor responds, still smiling. Shuichi's brow furrows. He was awake all night. None of that was offered.

"And I need to use the bathroom," Shuichi tells him. The doctor unties him and Shuichi sits up, flexing his sore limbs. The doctor hands him a glass of water and he drinks it as fast as he can, but it causes him to want to puke. He can hear his stomach grumbling.

The doctor escorts him to the bathroom and watches him use the facilities. He asks Shuichi to sit on the bed again. "You're a suicide risk," the doctor says. Shuichi knows that. And the first chance he had, he was going to finish what he started. "So we have to keep a very close watch on you. You're going to be restrained most of the time. When in bed, you'll have a jacket on and your legs will be secured to the bed. When up, you'll just have the jacket for a few hours."

Shuichi is trembling. This can't be real. "What can I leave?" The doctor is still smiling that disgusting, fake smile. "When you're all better, of course!" He pages a nurse to come in with a jacket. They put it on Shuichi and pin it up. He feels like a hazard.

They lead him to a room full of other people. All men. Some are retained with jackets and some are not. "This is the common area," the doctor explains. His hand runs down from his shoulder to his back and finally rests on his butt. Shuichi moves away but the doctor yanks him back.

"You will get your medicine from the nurse daily in the cafeteria," he says as they reach that destination. Shuichi is hungry. "Do you want some breakfast?" The doctor asks. Shuichi nods. They go through the line and the cafeteria workers look at Shuichi with an air of sympathy.

Shuichi is allowed use of his arms to eat. There's no one else in the cafeteria. "Why did you try to commit suicide Shuichi?" The doctor asks. Shuichi puts his chopsticks down and wipes his face.

"My past was very hard and my husband is very abusive. It got to the point that... where I just didn't think I could handle it anymore." The doctor nods. Shuichi feels like he's going to puke and declines the rest of the food.

The doctor takes him to a room and asks Shuichi to sit. "If you're non-violent and show no warning signs then the jacket will come off after a few days.

Shuichi nods. "This will be your room. You don't have a roommate yet. We try to match people up so that we can have as little conflict as possible. It's a bit harder with you being, uh... gay."

Shuichi nods. He doesn't mind. The fewer people he had to be in contact with the better. The doctor runs his fingers through Shuichi's hair. "Now, you'll be able to rest today, but we have a schedule of therapy and group sessions that you will need to attend. There is no excuse to miss them unless you're very ill."

The doctor pulls Shuichi's hair slightly. "Obviously there are things you can do to get out of one or two meetings, but we'll see when that time comes." Shuichi blinks away tears. "When can I talk to my mama and daddy?" He asks. The doctor sighs and grabs his chart. "Your husband said to allow no visitors other than him."

Shuichi begins sobbing. "But I don't want to be with him! I want to be able to talk to my parents!" The doctor seems genuinely upset about this. "We can file some papers. I'll check them out, and if they meet regulation, they can come see you, okay?" Shuichi nods with half a smile.

The doctor fastens his jacket once more and leaves. Shuichi carefully lays down without being able to prop up with his arms and is silently thankful that his touchy-feely doctor would at least try to get his parents in.

Maybe it was a matter of being honest. Telling them exactly what was going on with Suguru. Explaining that, yes he may need some help, but he could do that as an outpatient. This was an orchestration by his angry lover.

Over the next few days he learns the schedule. Breakfast at seven. Showers at seven thirty. Group therapy one at 8. Free time at eleven. Lunch at one. One-on-one therapy at two. Free time at four. Dinner at five. Group two at six. Free time until nine, and then bed time.

The group therapists were alright. It was his one on one doctor who was problematic. He would touch Shuichi's butt and try to get him to accept responsibility for Suguru's abusive actions.

Shuichi would usually stop talking half way through and count the number of specs on the wall until the glaring doctor called security to remove him. His recreation time and dinner are taken away and he's strapped in for bed for the night.

About a month in and Shuichi is sleeping. it's the middle of the night, but he's woken to a hand covering his mouth. "Don't say a word," the slightly accented voice says. Shuichi blinks back tears. Of course he'd heard about doctors that came in the middle of the night to rape their patients. It wasn't something he wanted to go through again, but often the patients weren't believed because of their disorders.

He was untied and lifted into the man's arms. The roommate he'd acquired only hours before still sedated and tied to his bed. The man carries him into one of the therapy rooms that he knows has no camera. He doesn't want to cry.

"Shuichi, I need this to be fast," the man says. Shuichi lays down and spreads his legs without saying anything. He's jerked back into a sitting position. "Shuichi?" Shuichi squints his eyes but he can't see who it is.

"Sweetheart, it's K." Shuichi gasps and stands. He reaches for his friend and embraces him. "I wanted to come see you but they said Suguru wouldn't allow it. My father is the best lawyer in Japan, and he's going to try and get you out." Shuichi begins crying.

"Thank you so much. Thank you..." he sobs. K shushes him but doesn't let go of him. "I just need you to stick it out a little longer... And don't do anything to jeopardize the case." Shuichi nods. K kisses his forehead and picks him back up. "No one can know we spoke. I'll try to get another message to you by the end of the week."

He carries Shuichi back to his bed and ties him up before leaving. Shuichi snuggles into his pillow with the first real feeling of hope in a long time.

lineline

Shuichi is sitting in group therapy when the man across from him is speaking. "I'm only in here because gay people have infiltrated the government. Back in the day, gay people stayed in their closets and everything was fine. The only reason there's perversion is because of homosexuals. And now it's a crime to hate them? I'm not psychotic... I just have morals." Shuichi doesn't care much for this man.

His stories usually made Shuichi shiver. He was in here for killing people that either were, or that he accused of being gay. He would kill them quickly but then skin them once they were dead. He'd been found not guilty due to his psychosis, but he would never be a free man.

He looks at Shuichi and Shuichi looks away. "What about you, Pinkette? Have you got morals?" Shuichi looks at him and nods. "Why are you in here?" Everyone's eyes are on him. "Shuichi, you may share if you like. Otherwise, you can pass... But you're encouraged to speak so that you can get better," the psychiatrist says.

Shuichi takes a deep breath. "I'm here because I tried to kill myself," Shuichi admits for the first time. The psychiatrist smiles and makes notes on his clipboard. "Why?" One of the other guys asks curiously.

He ws always in for attempted suicide. He was a multiple offender. He'd been in and out of prison for arson and animal cruelty, and finally had given up. "My life has kind of sucked," Shuichi says softly. Nobody says anything as they wait for him to elaborate.

"My mom died was I was a teen... and my step-father was abusive. She... She didn't really care about me, but I didn't know it at the time. And I got married young to an abusive man... and I just didn't know what to do. I wasn't talking to my adoptive parents and I hadn't opened up to my friend... It hadn't seemed bad enoug..." Shuichi is interrupted by the man across from him grabbing him around his throat and holding him to the ground.

Shuichi fights to get free, but even with two security guards pulling the man seems intent on ending Shuichi's breath for good. Shuichi's limbs fall and his vision blackens before they get the enraged man off of him.

Shuichi wakes in the infirmary. He's tied to the bed and his neck hurts. He tries to speak but it hurts. He's thirsty but can see no nurse. He tries to move his arms and a security officer runs towards him. "We have an escaper!" He calls to another man.

Shuichi shakes his head. "May I... Water... Please..." he says to them in a hoarse voice. The guards untie him and he sits up slowly. They hand him a glass of water and watch him carefully. He holds the glass in his lap and look at the closest guard.

"Why am I in so much pain?" He asks softly. "You were attacked during group," the guard answers, looking less worried. He touches his throat and winces. "I'm okay though..." He says more to himself than the man.

"You're lucky. Almost died before they got him off you." Shuichi takes another sip of water. He holds the glass against his neck and sighs. "Do you want me to find you an ice pack?" The man asks. Shuichi opens his eyes and smiles slightly. "If it won't get you in trouble... Then yes, please," he answers.

The guard cuffs him to the bed again. He walks away to find an ice pack. Shuichi is oddly touched. No one had been quite a nice to him here. The man returns and pressed the ice pack to his neck gently.

"You don't seem like a psycho," the man mentions. Shuichi chuckles somewhat. "I'm here for trying to kill myself... But I wouldn't say I was psycho." The man nods. His fingers brush against the scar permanently burned to Shuichi's neck. "I see that. What made you do it?"

Shuichi closes his eyes. "Life's been hard." The man nods. "You don't seem like a psycho," he says against before leaving the room.

lineline

The nurse comes back half an hour later. "You're ready to be taken back to your room Shuichi. Are you alright?" Shuichi nods but is frowning. "I've missed dinner, haven't I?" He asks sadly. She bites her lip and nods. "Come on, we can see if there's any leftovers."

They go to the kitchen but it's empty and clean. "It's alright Nurse Miko. I'll just wait until breakfast."A She takes him to his bed and the guards put him to bed. They don't tie Shuichi up as they usually do and he sits up before they leave. "Uh!" He calls out, not sure what to say.

The guard from early turns and winks. "They don't think you're enough of a threat to tie down. Don't disappoint them." Shuichi smiles and holdshis pillow tight as he goes to sleep. Things were at least looking up now.


	11. Chapter 11

Hiro and Eiri find their relationship stained. "Honey," Eiri says, putting his hands on Hiro's shoulders. Hiro looks up into his eyes. "Shuichi's friend K is here. His dad is a lawyer and they want to work on getting Shuichi out."

Hiro stands without speaking with Eiri and goes to the living room. He introduces himself to K's father and sits down across from him. "K says he doesn't think Shuichi is psychotic... And even with the attempt," he says vaguely, though Hiro still winces. Eiri takes this moment to hold Hiro's hand. Hiro hadn't even notices the man sit next to him. "K says the decision to send him to the ward was based on his husband's anger."

Hiro nods sadly. "Shuichi said he wanted a divorce and Suguru said he would get it if he was ever released from the psych ward. He even set it up so that he's the only visitor allowed to see him."

K's father frowns. K had been very upset about not being able to see his best friend. K's whole family had felt upset. He knows that Shuichi isn't bad enough to merit prison-like settings.

He tells them he needs to run background checks on both of them to make sure there isn't anything that would work against them seeing Shuichi. Hiro squeezes Eiri's hand. They may get to see their son soon.

lineline

When K and his father leave Hiro goes to bed silently. Eiri follows him and tentatively gets into bed next to him. He wraps an arm around Hiro's tummy and presses a kiss to his forehead. "What if I could get pregnant?" Hiro asks, his hand resting on top of Eiri's.

"I would be so happy Hiro," he says, kisses his boyfriend. "I would kiss you every single day and talk to your stomach. All the sappy father stuff," Eiri says. Hiro is crying. "I wish I could make a baby," he cries. Eiri rubs Hiro's belly.

"We'll get Shuichi back. He'll come back and... And maybe we will find another kid that needs us..." Eiri says. Hiro has stopped sobbing and is now just sniffling. "Would I be a good mother?" He asks. Eiri is petting him, eyes closed. "You are a good mother. I have no doubts about it."

lineline

Shuichi is sitting up in bed. They had given him the day off, since he was recovering from the attack. He was spending it in his room, sitting on his bed and reading one of the books he'd borrowed from the nurse's station.

A guard comes in and asks Shuichi to follow him. "You've got a visitor," he says. Shuichi bites his lip. "Do you know whom?" The guard looks a little uneasy. "A man who called himself your mom..." He explains. Shuichi grins, eager to see him.

Hiro is sitting, silently and smiling, but it doesn't seem complete. Shuichi sits down and they look into each other's eyes. "I'm sorry for what I said in the hospital." Shuichi begins. Hiro tears up. "I know baby. I know you didn't mean it."

Shuichi wipes his eyes. "Where is dad?" Shuichi asks. "Arguing with the front clerk. He's trying to bring you food," Hiro tells him with an infectious smile. Shuichi grabs Hiro's hand. "I love you, mama. It wasn't your fault."

Hiro grabs Shuichi to him and holds him. "Glad to see that you've resolved your issues," Eiri says as he plops down beside Hiro, bags in hand. He passes out food to Shuichi and Hiro. "Mr. Winchester says that your case looks pretty solid. Has Suguru come to visit you?"

Shuichi shakes his head. "You're the first visitors I've had," he says, not admitting to having seen K a few days prior. "Is everything okay in here?" Shuichi nods. "I have a roommate that's pretty quiet."

"Have you been participating in your therapy?" Shuichi nods. "I was explaining about my step-father and Suguru yesterday in group, but another patient attacked me. That's why I have today off."

Hiro and Eiri look at each other. Eiri holds Hiro's hand and Hiro growls. "Someone hurt you? They let someone hurt you?" He yells. Shuichi shakes his head vigorously. "No, mama. They got him off me. He got in trouble and they gave me the day off."

Hiro grinds his teeth. "You shouldn't be here," he tells Shuichi. Shuichi nods. "If we were to be able to get you out... Would it be different? Would you still feel like suicide was the only way out?"

Shuichi looks Eiri in the eyes for a few seconds too long for Eiri's stomach to unclench. "Things would be much different," he answers softly. "I would go back to school, divorce Suguru, and spend some time building myself up. I've never gotten past the confidence level I had when I was six and my abuse started."

Eiri hugs his son. "And know that we will be here for you. Every moment Shu."

lineline

Shuichi goes back to his room after tear-filled hugs and kisses from his parents. His one-on-one therapist comes up behind him and puts his hand on Shuichi's shoulder. "I hear you got a visit from your parents," he says.

Shuichi turns around and hugs him, but he quickly ends the hug. "I know they weren't just let it. Suguru wouldn't have allowed that. I just want to thank you." The therapist tells Shuichi that they should talk in his office.

"Shuichi, I didn't do that because I could. You've been showing real progress and no one has had any issues with you. We've discussed it and if you can pass a psychological exam then we see no reason to keep you."

Shuichi grins. Was he going to be released? But then his smile falls. "My husband will never allow you to let me out. He knows I'm filing for divorce as soon as I'm able." The therapist is still smiling.

"We don't need his permission to deem you psychologically fit." Shuichi smiles again. "When can I take the exam?" The therapist stands and Shuichi does too. "It'll be another month, unfortunately. But as soon as that cycle is over I'm confident that you'll be released." Shuichi notices that his hand is once again resting on his butt.

He moves to the side and says his thanks before leaving. He goes to the dayroom, but it's the children's time to be out. One of the kids comes to Shuichi and points. "You're a big kid. Will you help us get the puzzles down?"

Shuichi follows him and easily reaches the puzzle on the top shelf. He opens it and dumps it out with a smile. He sits on the floor and helps show the kids how to put the puzzle together. One of the orderlies sees him and hoists him up and into the office.

"What are you doing in there with the kids?" Shuichi is trembling. Has he just ruined everything? "I just left one-on-one... And I came in here. And I was going to leave but they needed help getting a puzzle down, so I got it down... And then I sat down and started helping. I didn't even consider that it would be a problem, and I'm sorry!"

The nurse gets on her computer. "I'm... I'm about to be able to leave... please don't make them keep me longer," Shuichi cries. "What are you in for?" The nurse asks, still typing. Shuichi sniffles. "I tried to kill myself." She nods. "Your file says you've never been in trouble."

Shuichi shakes his head before rubbing his eyes. "I was just depressed." The nurse spins around him her chair. "Are you attracted to children?" She asks. Shuichi shakes his head vigorously. "I hate people like that. I would never."

The nurse bites her lip. "Do you want to help them finish the puzzle?" She asks. He nods. "If it's okay..." The nurse nods and he knows she is keeping an eye on him the entire time. He sits down and shows the kids how to make the outline before filling in the puzzle.

By the time playtime is over, they'd finished the puzzle. The nurses come out and congratulate the kids. This is also the first time there have been no fights during afternoon free time. They invite Shuichi back. Normally he would just be sitting on his bed at this time.

He does his therapy in the day, but has asked for permission to spend his afternoon with the children. He's granted this wish because he's been forthcoming in one-on-one. The orderlies notice that one of the children that often follows him is a boy that's never opened up during therapy.

Shuichi is holding him one day and they're crying. The orderlies grab the boy and grab Shuichi. They take them to separate rooms. "What did you do?" They ask Shuichi, on edge. Shuichi claims that he did nothing. "He hugged me and started crying and he… Told me why he was here…" Shuichi tells them.

The therapist talks to the boy. Telling him that it's okay to talk to them. "Did Shuichi do anything to you, Kyo? You can tell us." The boy speaks to them for the first time in his two-year run at the hospital. "Shuichi has shown me that… I can trust some adults. I think I'm ready to tell you what's wrong," he says to the shocked doctors.

It turns out that Kyo had spent a lot of time at a friend's house. A lot of time in the hands of the boy's father, who had abused him for much of his young life. Slowly, many of the children come forth. They want to be like Shuichi. They want to trust adults, like they're supposed to. The doctor tells Shuichi his being there had created miracles.

Shuichi gladly spends his time with the children. Only two more weeks before he can go home.

Lineline

It's nearly Christmas now. Shuichi s sad that he will miss being with his family, but glad to be allowed to spend it with the children. They're allowed to stay up an hour later than usual. Shuichi and Kyo and a few other children sneak to the kitchen eat Santa's cookies. As they were older children, they were instructed to eat the cookies without letting the younger children see them.

They're standing in the hallway next to the kitchen when Shuichi hears people yelling. They see smoke filling the hallway and panic. Shuichi ushers them the other way, but a piece of the roof collapses. Shuichi grabs the youngest and the other three follow. They make it back to the children's ward where they were escorting children out the windows. Shuichi helps them and they call the room clear before sending Shuichi out.

Once everyone has left he looks for Kyo but doesn't spot him. He panics and runs back into the building. A firefighter grabs him and asks what he thinks he's doing. "My friend is in there! He's just a little boy!" The firefighter tries to hold him but Shuichi runs back inside.

He climbs to the children's ward before his breath becomes heavy from the smoke. His head is dizzy. He looks around and squints. His eyes burn. He thinks he sees him and runs for him, but is met with the sight of fallen debris.

He walks through the hallways, his body feeling warm and smothered. He's never liked the heat. He's grabbed from behind and can't fight this time. They carry him out and he gasps for air. He tries to tell them that Kyo is still inside. They march to head in but the entire building collapses. Shuichi begins to sob as he watches firefighters shake their heads.


	12. Chapter 12

"Forty-five adults and seven children lost their lives tonight as the Tokyo Mental Health Hospital collapses after fire rages through…" the news says. Shuichi is lying in a hospital bed with his mama and dad by his side. "While the names of the children cannot yet be release, you can find a list of known adults on our website at ..." Eiri shuts the TV off.

"Why would you run back into a building that was on fire? You could have been killed!" His father says harshly. Shuichi can't cry anymore. "My friend Kyo… He's one of the kids that died in there. I went back to get him."

Eiri sighs and Hiro holds Shuichi. "I missed you," Hiro murmurs. Shuichi doesn't say anything. He doesn't want to deal with his father's anger or his mama's apparent child-induced psychosis.

K and his father enter the hospital room and K sits next to Shuichi without saying a word. Shuichi's face crumbles and he begins to sob. K leans down and whispers in his ear, petting him softly. Mr. Winchester begins to speak.

"They want to have a small hearing in three days. Suguru is challenging the hospital's decision to let you out." Shuichi smiles and they're all surprised. "My therapist says I've made a remarkable breakthrough. I have no doubt that I will be let out. I'm not psychotic, I was depressed. Lots of people are depressed. I've learned how to cope and I've been taking medication."

"I hope you don't mind but I also put in the paperwork to have the judge grant your divorce after the case." Shuichi nods. Hopefully in three days this would all be over. But was he being honest? Would he really change everything now?

He just lost the first friend he'd made at the hospital. He's seventeen and getting divorced. He's a high school dropout with no job, no life, no real family… And just like that, he wonders if he's fooling everyone around him.

He doubts he will try committing suicide again. It was too painful. But he was certainly no happier. His mama grabs his hand and they look into each other's eyes. Shuichi looks away and closes his eyes.

After Mr. Winchester and K had left for the night Hiro had sent Eiri to get food for everyone. As soon as he was out of the room Hiro looked back into his son's eyes. "You aren't happy," Hiro says.

Shuichi is surprised. Maybe he wasn't putting on as good of a show as he thought. He smiles, somewhat strained, and tries to maintain eye contact.

"You just lost a friend. I know it's hard, baby, but it'll get better. Soon you'll be free and single. I mean, it's a lot of change, but you'll have your dad and me to help you. We love you… I just, I don't want to think you'll try again," Hiro tells him.

This he can be honest about. "I'm never going to try that again. I don't want to die. I just can't imagine myself ever being happy again," he confides. "It'll happen. You were happy after you were separated from your step-father. I bet you never thought you'd be able to feel happy while that was happening."

Shuichi blinks. His mama was very correct. He'd wanted to kill himself then, too. He would have if Eiri hadn't adopted him. He never thought he'd feel happy again, and yet he had. For a long time, even.

"You can come back and live with us. Finish school, go to college, and find a job… All those things. Then, when you're ready, you can find another place to live. You may even fall in love again. You just have to keep hoping, Shuichi."

Shuichi wipes his eyes and hugs his mama. Eiri comes back just a few minutes later. "This isn't fair," he grumbles. "You've hugged him twice and I haven't gotten any." He passes the food around. Shuichi tentatively hugs his dad. They hadn't hugged as often as his mama and he had hugged in their times knowing each other.

The morning comes and Shuichi is asleep. Hiro is asleep beside him and Eiri is pacing. Shuichi was confident that he would get but… But were the doctors as confident in him? Shuichi hospital doctor comes in and smiles at him.

"Good morning, Mr. Eiri. We're going to need you and Mr. Hiroshi to leave, now. Due to hospital regulations, until Mr. Shuichi is deemed mentally fit to be on his own, he can't have outside visitors." Eiri frowns and is going to argue when he notices his lover kiss their son goodbye.

He walks to Shuichi and kisses his forehead. "It'll be alright son. We'll see you in two days and then everything will be done." Shuichi smiles an honest smile and nods.

Lineline

They go to bed when they get home. Both are still full from the early meal they shared with Shuichi. Hiro lays his head on Eiri's chest. "Can we still adopt another baby?" He asks softly. If Eiri says no, he's going to cry.

Eiri runs his fingers through Hiro's soft hair. It needs to be cut. "Of course. I think we should wait until Shuichi is out of the state's care, though." That was reasonable enough. Hiro blushes a deep pink. "Eiri…"

Eiri grunts in response. "Can we make love?" Hiro asks. He's not usually this docile. He looks up at Eiri and their eyes meet. Eiri pulls him up and kisses him. Usually Hiro loves being on top, but this time he wants something different.

He lies on his back and pulls Eiri on top of him. He can't look into Eiri's eyes while he asks. 'Can we… pretend something?" Eiri raises an eyebrow. "Pretend what?" Hiro's hand reflexively rests on his belly, rubbing soft, small circles.

"Can we pretend…? That I'll get pregnant?" He asks. It has taken all of his courage. Eiri sits up. "Like, you want me to put a condom on? Or…?" Eiri asks. Hiro shakes his head. "Like, we're doing this to have a baby… Like I will really be pregnant when we're done?"

Eiri begins laughing and Hiro feels ashamed. He feels tears run down his face. He gets up quickly and runs for the bathroom.

Eiri grabs his wrist and pulls him onto his lap. He wraps his arms around Hiro when he tries fighting to get away. "We can pretend baby. Get back on the bed. I'm not laughing at you… Well, not at your idea. You're just so cute…" Eiri tells him, kissing his lips softly.

Hiro crawls back on the bed and Eiri lies down beside him, on his side. "Get on your side, facing away from me," he tells Hiro. Hiro listens slowly.

Eiri begins massaging all the way down Hiro's back. Hiro moans and relaxes beneath his boyfriend's hands. Eiri stops at Hiro's lower back. He moves one hand to Hiro's stomach and begins to rub it softly. "I can't wait to see this get bigger when you're filled up with our child," Eiri says softly in Hiro's ear.

Hiro grabs his hand and they hold his tummy together. Eiri takes his hand back and rests Hiro's leg on his so that he's opened enough for Eiri to take him. He lubes his fingers and slowly inserts one. Hiro can feel it, though it doesn't hurt much.

He slowly adds a second and a third. He pulls them out and puts more lube on his self. He grips Hiro's hip and enters him slowly, but completely. Hiro whines at the intrusion and leans his head back. Eiri kisses his neck and lets Hiro adjust.

Eiri and Hiro are panting already. Eiri moves in and out as fast as he can in this position. "When I cum," Eiri growls in Hiro's ear. "It's going to be as deep inside you as possible, so that I stay in your body," he tells him.

Hiro groans and moves with Eiri. "Eiri, I'm so close. Please fill me up," Hiro whimpers. Eiri grabs his hips and thrusts himself deep inside before finishing. Hiro pants and wriggles his hips. He hasn't come yet. Eiri pulls out and pushes Hiro onto his back.

He moves down his body and kisses his soft belly. One of his hands grips Hiro and begins jerking him off while he whispers to him. "Now you've got my baby here, Hiro," he says as he kisses the belly. Hiro thrusts to Eiri's hand.

"I'm… I'm yours, Eiri. All yours! Even… Even have your babies," Hiro mumbles while he cums. Eiri chuckles at Hiro's odd coital ramblings. They rest beside one another. Eiri hardly notices that his hand is still on Hiro's tummy, rubbing soft circles, even after Hiro falls asleep.


	13. Chapter 13

Two days later Shuichi is dressing himself for a court hearing. K's father is sitting on a chair looking away from him. "I don't foresee a lot of deliberation for this. I am hoping that we can have our answer by the end of today. Tomorrow morning at the very latest." He tells the boy.

Shuichi is tying his shoes laces. "Do I have to stay in the hospital if they declare me free?" Mr. Winchester shakes his head. "If you're found mentally incapable of caring for yourself, you will be brought back to the hospital and probably transported to a different mental facility. If they say you are sane enough to be on your own you will be released."

Shuichi stands and Mr. Winchester leads him to the courthouse.

* * *

><p>Suguru is sitting across the room from him. He doesn't know why he would be taking it this far.<p>

"Your honor, my client would like to give his side of the case. Mr. Fujisaki is mr. Shindou's husband. He is his medical proxy and the person that had him committed."

The judge nods her consent. Suguru takes the stand and begins to tell his story. "I have known Shuichi since we were merely elementary students. He's always been shy and reclusive. When we began dating in secondary school it was after his first suicide attempt. I stayed because I love him. While we were together he attempted twice more to kill himself. The second time I had him committed."

His lawyer nods. "Can you tell me about his demeanor while you were together?" Suguru clears his throat. "Shuichi has been depressed the entire time we've been married. He went through some pretty hard times when he was a child. He was severely abused by his step-father. Sexually, mentally and physically. I think that that has caused him to see abuse where it does not truly lie."

"And has Mr. Shindou ever done anything to make you think he needed mental care, aside from the attempts you've already mentioned?" Suguru looks over at Shuichi and watches his color fade. "He asked me to rape him once. He wanted me to beat him and call him names and force sex on his, just like his step-father had done."

The lawyer whistles. "I only regret submitting to him. I should have called for help at that moment, so that he wouldn't have fallen as far as he did."

Shuichi feels like crying. His face feels hot from his blush. His parents, his only friend, and his friend's parents had just heard about the intimates of his perverted psyche.

When Suguru leaves the stand Shuichi is wiping his eyes. The judge offers Shuichi a chance to take a break before he comes to say his piece. Shuichi accepts appreciatively. He isn't allowed contact with his family yet. Only Mr. Winchester. They sit on a bench outside of the court room.

"How do I explain that he's telling the truth, but he's wrong?" Mr. Winchester takes his hands. "Shuichi, anyone would be depressed after living through what you did. That's all you need to say. You're human, you have feelings. That's the most sane thing one could feel."

* * *

><p>When they return to the court room Shuichi is walked to the stand. He fiddles with his hands and begins to speak. "I was depressed. I don't think that's a secret. I had a horrific life before my teacher took me in. I continued the cycle when I allowed my husband to abuse me. I know the difference between justified and abusive. I did attempt to end my life. I fell into a numbness, much like I had when I was with my step-father. That was my mistake, and I have learned. I know it was my own choice to stay with him and it was my choice to use that sort of a means. Since I was rescued I have been in therapy. I have learned so much about myself and seen things from a perspective that I'd never considered before."<p>

Mr. Winchester nods his head. "Do you think you would ever try to commit suicide again?" Shuichi shakes his head. "It was painful, and I learned that life gets better after the problem is solved. I just need to target my problems and work on solving them."

"Do you think you should be out? Do you think you're sane?" Shuichi tries not to scratch his arm and remain still. "I think I'm as sane as the average person. I don't know if feeling is labeled sane or not. I have no doubt I will have days where I am depressed. I still remember what was done to me. I still want to cry sometimes, but I am feeling now. And if it happens again, where I become numb, I know what to do. I know I can get help."

"Last question Shuichi. What do you regret the most?" Shuichi feels an air of confidence go through him. This is something he's had a lot of time to think about. "I regret nothing. Everything I've done, everything that has been done to me, everything I've gone through has made me what I am. Everything I know comes from these experiences. I am me because of what I've done, and I can't regret that which has taught."


	14. Chapter 14

They had the doctors from the sanitarium come in on Shuichi's behalf. "He made great strides in recovering. Once he began to open up he worked hard at becoming well. I believe he i still suffering from depression, but I do not find it to be severe enough to merit supervision."

The hearing ends and deliberation begins. Shuichi is in an empty office eating cookies that K's father had bought him. "Shindou, they are ready to give a verdict," he is told. He swallows hard. His stomach is threatening to abort the cookies. He makes his way to the courtroom to stand beside K's dad.

The judge sits. "Shindou, I am sorry for the hardship you've endured so early in life. I don't know how you survived, and I think that sometimes you feel the same way. Being depressed is not a crime, so I see no need to keep you. Even if you were committed for selfish reasons, I believe it did you some good. But you don't need it anymore. Not like that. I am going to order that you remain in counselling for the next year and take medication, as prescribed by your therapist. I hope your life improves, young man. I hope you use this as motivation instead of as a deterant."

Shuichi is so relieved. He hugs his lawyer, his parents and his best friend.

* * *

><p>One year Later<p>

* * *

><p>Shuichi slings his backpack off his shoulder. He'd just finished his first semester of dad is siting at the table drinking coffee and reading the paper. His mama is cooking something that smells oddly good. "Welcome home, Shu!" Hiro greats. He kisses his son's cheek when he sits.<p>

"Thanks! What's for dinner?" Before Hiro can respond Eiri clears his throat. "How did you do?" Eiri asks. Shuichi proudly hands him his grade report. He wasn't a straight-A student, but he did well and tried hard.

Hiro sets plates in front of his husband and his son. "It isn't anything fancy. Your dad has been trying to teach me some simple things so that I can feed Miko when he's gone."

Hiro and Eiri had adopted a little girl after Shuichi had left for university. She was just shy of being a full-fledged toddler. Shuichi had lived by himself in a dorm, though he kept communications up with K. They'd even gone on a few dates but Shuichi had decided not to date until he was done in school. K said he didn't mind waiting. Not for someone like Shuichi.

Eiri sits the little girl in a high chair while Hiro blows on her chopped-up food. Once they're all sitting together Eiri jokingly sends a prayer that Hiro's food doesn't kill them all.


End file.
